Project X

Shit was aaaaight!

Wasn't no house party by any means.  Big budget and all but it didn't make cult classic status for me.

My Rating 3/5 Generously generic

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES

BEST BATMAN MOVIE OF ALL TIME!!!...YEAH I SAID IT

This shit go hard AF!  I was thoroughly  impressed at the end of this movie.  Action wise it was on point.  They didn't try to compensate substance for flash with the action either cus the story was dope AF.  And as far as villains go Bain was a mothafucker!

I was happy when this wasn't that predictable. The story got deep.  Then it got a little more deeper to the point where I was thinking "Damn! Aint no way Batman getting out of this shit."  But, of course, this is a Batman movie.  Batman is the good guy who is obligated to be the savior so I know those people in Hollywood wouldn't fuck up a perfectly good friday night with a depressing story of how Gotham got smashed on.  They couldn't do that, right?

Bruce Wayne is chilling like an old billionaire whose old hobby was whiquite pping criminals asses and there are no more asses to whip.  In comes Bain who is bigger than him, just as fast, stronger, and DGAF about nothing but carnage and shit of the like.  And this dude hates Batman/Bruce Wayne, and he knows who the two are the same.   Bain gets to doing shit where the inner hero of Batman has to fuck him up, or at least try lmao.

Bruce Wayne is like an ex-football player in this one.  Still young in age, in normal people years, but his body is beat the hell up.  Walks with a cane and shit.  But he still got paper tho, and he has Morgan Freeman's expertise scientists at his disposal so he fixes this beat up dude nicely with gadgets and some more fly shit.  

Batman hits the treadmill and does some push ups and he goes at Bain.  Hard!  Trouble is this dude Bain is a beast with his and goes harder than anybody Batman ever got down with.  Plus he was waiting for Batman.  Batman had bitch ass people on his team, so indeed they set him up.  Batman gets down with Bain and eats the worst ass whipping I can recall a dude getting his on movie since Rocky got fucked up the first time he fought Mr. T in Rocky III. Well damn, is what the theater says in unison (I checked this out in other showings and found this to be true, check it out)  

Bain coulda murdered Batman, with ease.  So he's more than a formidable foe.  Bain is beast and he now has to be acknowledged as such.

Im not spoiling the rest of the movie, just giving some insight.

My rating 5/5
Check it out and see for yourself though.

TED

THIS IS FUNNY AF!!!

I think this is gonna be the funniest movie of the summer of 2012.   Think Family Guy having the freedom to do R rated shit with real actors and a magical fucking teddy bear who gets bitches, smokes weed, and cracks jokes.

You cant lose with this one.

My rating: 5 of 5

THOR

I got around to this one and was a bit disappointed.  Maybe it was all the good stuff I heard about it had me thinking this movie was going to be much better.  

The fights were mediocre.  The romance between Thor and "mortal" was throwing me off.  The plot was aight, been there before seen it done better.  Thor had his eyebrows died looking like a wierdo.   Shit just wasn't gellin'

My Rating:
3/5  

I will say I wanted way more out of this and it was not delivered

GOOD DEEDS

Another Tyler Perry one y'all


This one ain't even have a trailer put out on the internet yet nugga, this is some exclusive shit.


Okay, again,  I like to be neutral with this brotha.  He seems to be stepping his game up quite nicely.  This movie was good.


Its about a brotha, Wesley Deeds played by Perry, who is the successor of a software company founded by his father.  He has a a fine ass fiance, played by fine ass Gabrielle Union,  an asshole/alcoholic/fuck up of a brother played by Brian White, and a mother played by Claire Huxtable(Phylicia Rashad).  Thandie Neewton is in this one too playing the self-defeating black woman real tough.


So as I laid out before Wesley Deeds is the CEO of a software company.  He inherited that position from his dad after he died and his brother Walter Deeds, played by Brian White, is jealous of him for getting offered that position over him because Wesley didn't want it as bad as him.  But his brother is a fuck up and an asshole to the umpteenth degree.   He is reckless as fuck at the mouth and doesn't really have restraint enough to head the business.  Walter gets DUI's, fucks random bitches in the workplace, and checks women in public not exactly the nigga to run a company of this caliber, maybe more suitable for Walter's Chicken Shack or some shit similar.


Thandie Newton plays the angry disgruntled self defeating black woman named Lindsey.  She has a story that will make you lightweight understand her situation.  But here attitude will have you teetering on having sympathy for her or being on a "that's what her angry ass deserves" mentality about her doing's. She has an adorable snag-a-tooth daughter that balances out your feelings toward her. Thandie plays the fuck outta her angry black woman character.  She is real disrespectful to the brothers, plays the soft victim role when she put on blast for fucking but will quickly return to asshole again in a second. 


So this Lindsey crosses paths with Wesley Deeds in a dispute over a parking space where she parks in Wesley's spot and he catches her and she basically tells him to f#ck off.  Walter, played by Brian White, wasn't having that disrespect towards his brother and didn't approve of Wesley's handling of the situation.  So Walter expresses that with an up'd level of disrespect and the tone is set with these characters.


So further down, Tyler's character finds out about Thadie's character situation, which is sad, and his inner Captain comes out and saves her and her adorable daughter.  His dealings with this angry Lindsey leads him to thinking about what his life has become and what life has to offer in general.  He begins to question his engagement etc.


Bottomline, I was impressed by this movie.  Tyler Perry has stepped it up in this one and I would like to see more from him like this.   With his cape out on this one, he is catering to black women in this one as he always does, but that is his main audience and he is getting paper from it so I can't knock him.  I don't think it would have went down quite like it did in the movie most woulda wrote Thandie's character off due to her attitude early on but it made for an entertaining evening so I ain't mad.


My Rating:
4.5/5
Leave the dress and Madea alone, keep this good work up and you'll have new fans.

UPDATE:
THIS IS THE BEST TYLER HAS PUT FORTH SINCE THE FAMILY THAT PREYS AND THE FIRST WHY DID I GET MARRIED!  

WE THE PEEBLES

This is a film under he Tyler Perry umbrella with a release date TBA(Google it). That's becoming my new shit, Google it!.

I got my opinions on this dude Tyler Perry, I'll focus on the positive side of them right now and say this dude is hustling up an empire that's to be respected.  He is like the Hollywood Jesus coming to save out of work black actors and actresses destitute of good acting jobs. I love that he is employing folks Hollywood doesn't know how to fuck with or simply just don't.

This movie has Craig Robinson, fine ass Kerry Washington, and David Allen Grier to name the marquee names. Tyler didn't direct it himself he's putting someone else on. A female director, Tina Gordon Chism, did this movie.  It's a comedy minus men in dresses acting silly and coonish. None of that, this goes into the regular family comedy category.

I was pleased by this movie. There was no wild over the top ish going on. The cast did their jobs, the director did her job well, and the story was cool.  And that all came together as what would be a cool night out with the fam or a date.

Craig Robinson's character is a man who makes songs for children to help them get potty trained correctly.  On some guitar don't pee on yourself corny type ish which translated to some funny ish seeing this big ass dude singing to kids on some Yo Gabba Gabba ish..  His character is looking to get married to Kerry Washington's character who is a bit secretive about here family and is hesitant to introduce them to her man.


She sneaks off to a family retreat and Craig's character crashes the party only to find out his future fiance's family doesn't even know about him.  David Allan Grier is playing the father, damn a nigga getting old.  David's is playing the uptight asshole future father in law who is weary of this new nigga, Craig's character.


Mix some drugs, alcohol, and lesbian sex in the mix and you got a nice concoction that ends up being entertainable


My Rating
4/5

It wasn't corny and that is a good thing.

Bridesmaids

I kept hearing good reviews about this movie, they were all true. I steer clear of chick flicks, which was written all over this movie.  Upon review I would say the best way to describe this movie would be a Judd Apatow movie with an all female cast.


The story is about a woman who has a childhood friend that is going to get married and has another/new friend who is trying to play the role best friend.  The two, one a bridesmaid and the other a maid of honor, go at throughout the movie like jealous women do.


Been a minute since I seen it though but I got good memories.


My rating:
5/5


It was good

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

I was entertained.

 To give a quick review - this movie is about a Scientific Research/Pharmaceutical Engineering Lab experimenting with a new drug on chimpanzee's that is hoped to curb Alzheimer's Disease in humans.  The drug ALZ-112 improves the brain.   Chimps get a hold of this drug and wreck shit.

One of the researcher is happy with the results and pushes for a review of the drugs potential to get more funding from a board of investors. They were going to showcase the results of the drug with a chimp that has advanced.  When the researcher went to get the advanced chimp the ape was uncooperative.  They went after the uncooperative chimp with the dog grabbing tool dog catchers use, lmao at that time.  The chimp does some wild animal shit gets to the room of the meeting and gets shot.  End of discussion, they aint fucking with the drug.

Chimps, who are already highly intelligent on a level equal to or greater than humans, become smarter by way of scientific manipulation through an experimental drug and become overwhelming and start to wreck shit. People(white) already shouldn't fuck with these animals because they're wild animals who are smart as people. Leave them in they're habitat! They are the equivalent of a crazy person with emotional problem given a steroid shot laced with PCP and some more shit. You cannot adequately neutralize them if they become irate. All you do is break, but wait they move faster than you too. So that's your ass! Google chimp attacks.


My rating:
4.5/5

SAFE HOUSE

Denzel is at it again.


This brotha never fails to deliver on his part and hasn't been in a weak movie since I don't fucking remember.  He keeps the streak going in this action thriller with Ryan Reynolds.  Ryan is the dude that recently played The Green Lantern and just got divorced from Scarlett Johansson, who in my opinion is the baddest white girl in Hollywood today.  He got a cool breakoff too cause neither one broke off much paper in the split and he's getting back to back top movie roles right.  So this dude Ryan is WINNING right about now.


On to the movie, shit was dope.


What about the plot?
There is Denzel's character, Tobin Frost, who is an old slick ass Ex-Veteran CIA agent who grew a distaste for the CIA long ago.  Ryan Reynold's character, Matt Weston, who is a young CIA associate in his salad days of working for the CIA in a safe house he holds down waiting for visitors(CIA agents who need a safe house to do whatever).  Well Denzel is on the run from some bad guys after he come upon some very sensitive information which would expose corruption in the CIA and many other facets in the US(politics, corporations etc.)  So this information is not some shit certain people want to get further than the soon to be dead person who come in contact with it.  In short, Denzel is a killer and Ryan Reynolds is a sub bitch ass rookie.


Denzel acquires some information and people around him start to immediately die.  Im talking bullets in the asses kids, they momma's, daddy's, random old ladies in the market the muthafuckas that are on Denzel for that info are real.  But Denzel is a killer, not a cold hearted one though "I only kill professionals" is what he's about.  Denzel is old but he is running on roof tops and whipping asses in this one like an action star in his prime.


My Rating

5/ 5  I felt the shit was dope.  Denzel at his best!
Here is a trailer on this yotch!

Tower Hiest

The story goes as their is an upscale hotel manager (Ben Stiller) who has a wealthy businessman "invest" some money for him and others and they fall victim to his shady business practices.  As you should be able to tell from the title they want to get that shit back.  So they assemble a team of willing to jack the rich CEO who is acting like he lost all the money.  They weren't buying that shit not one bit.


You have a cast of Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick, Ben Stiller, Michael Pena, and Casey Affleck.  All these dudes are directed by Brett Ratner.  Surprisingly Ben wasn't that funny here and I attribute that to his character in the movie but he wasn't going to be the comic relief in this with Eddie Murphy in it anyway.   So Eddie was the funny dude in this, of course.  Eddie's character was mad niggarish in this one.  He was a low scale criminal/thief who wasn't not to be trusted.  Michael Pena, the dude all the way to the back on the lest side was funny in this movie too.  He had at least one of the top 3 funniest moments in this one.


Its not really a str8 comedy so don't go to see and expect that.  But it is a good watch.  The quality direction from Brett Ratner and the comedy from Eddie and Michael Pena made this movie.


My Rating 3/5

Burning Palms

Burning piles of shit.

Okay I try to be light and fun when watching movies and in reviewing them but this shit right here struck my inner militant to come out.  This shit had blacks looking real bad man.

At the start, I'm watching this movie and the beginning story was a bit awkward.  There are five stories/shorts and I'm giving it a chance because in my opinion great movies are a culmination of great scenes/stories.  Just look at you favorite movies and you will see this to be generally true. But I digress.  The first story was awkward.  There was a man whose daughter was coming to town to visit him and his fiance.  They had a weird relationship to say the least.


What had me taken back on this movie is the 3rd short Buyers Remorse. In this story 2 gay white males were looking to adopt.  At the beginning of this my finger was damn near on the skip chapter button with that information alone.  So they wanted to adopt and were getting prepared to do so.  So a Russian dude comes to the door and he has a little black girl with him.  The gays pay the Russian a wad of money for this little black girl and adoption papers that I take it they weren't going to have to go through hell to be turned down for.  Finally, the 2 gay white dudes get this little black girl on the "black market".

The little black girl is about 7 and they have her playing mute.  She doesn't want to talk or doesn't know how to talk.  You get all kinds of little questionable jokes about that in itself.  So the little black girl is living with these 2 gay white males and these dudes are having loud gay sex with her in the room.  I was hella close to skipping this short but I was already in angry black man mode with the depiction so I was going to see where they were going with this so fast forward would do here and there.  Now the 2 gays go showing of their newly adopted "pet nigga" to another gay couple who also adopted.  They make a slick ass joke when they see the other gay couples adopted girl who was Asian and who was mutil-lingual.

So this shit comes to ahead when they 2 gay white dudes throw a party for this mute black girl they adopted.  At the party a little white girl sees a possum climbing up a tree and says something to the like of "Oh look mommy a possum isn't it cute".  At that very moment the distant mute little black girl goes into her instinctive tribal mode and rushes to the nearest Spear and chucks that at the possum to kill it.  Yeah, a mute spearchucker is what they got when they were just trying to adopt.  

This shit end when they end up dropping her off in the middle of the woods with a bag and some more shit.  I guess they felt she would feel more at home their.  The cut the scene and the 2 gays have a dog and now they are satisfied with that void filled.  I guess a pet dog is better than a pet nigga in this short.


So that was enough.  Im not in movie enjoying mode anymore. But I'm going to watch this to see what Zoe Saldana does as she is the star name on this movie package.  Well I get to her story and this is how it begins, with this image...

Okay so on the surface what do we have here.  A white hand holding a black woman down by her head.   Well it goes a bit further as the owner of that white hand is raping her.  He is white but he is wearing a mask.  He finishes and leaves his wallet in the house during his raping fiasco.  Zoe's character doesn't even call the cops after the incident(I figured it was shock or whatever benefit of the doubt).  But she starts cleaning and then spots the wallet under the couch.  Now she knows who raped her and I'm thinking shes gonna do some gruesome fucked up Hostel type.  But she goes on about her business in regular fashion. 

At this moment I'm getting mentally prepared to see some cold rape revenge shit like The Last House on the Left.  So she still doesn't report this dude to the police.  She stalks this dude and finds out where he lives and works.  Zoe's character goes to the rapist's job and doesn't confront him.  She does some weird shit and invites this dude on a date.  I'm taken back again,  okay maybe she is playing nice and is going to switch it up.  Nope, she goes on a date and carries on like the dude she knows raped her is courting her, and she is overly loquacious.  


The date ends up at her house.  The same house where she was raped by this white dude.  Raping white guy was reluctant to go back to her house thinking it was a set up and so did I, but it wasn't.  She lured him there by saying that is where his wallet and she was going to return it.  So now he is back in the house and gets mad at the act he thinks is going on because the shit is strange.  He raped you in your house with a mask on, he brought his wallet like a dumbass, lost his wallet in your house like a dumbass, you find him giving the appearance of wanting to return his wallet, get him to go on a date by saying you were going to return his wallet, say you forgot the wallet back at your house, convince him there isn't a hellacious revenge group back at your house, get to your house and you want to play games with him (uno, scrabble and shit) like he legitimately macked you up when he did the complete opposite of macking you up.  WTF is wrong with this bitch?(what Im thinking)

Well Zoe has a mask and wants this white dude to do it again??  What she loved the raping that much to have that scenario played out again?


I take it niggas love being mistreated by whites though and some black women enjoy being raped by white dudes.

HANNA

We have another one to add to vast super white girl genre of movies.


This one was pretty decent though.  It was done in a believable manner.  You have Hanna, the super white girl who weighs under 120lbs soaking wet with a cover, who is raised in a cold harsh climate where she is taught to survive by her father.  Hanna starts off slipping a bit after she is killing an animal but fails to keep aware of her surroundings when good old dad sneaks up on her and her kill and points a gun to her head and says "you're dead".  What would life be like without a father to tell you in a corrective fashion you're dead when caught slipping?


Hanna and her father in the middle of an iceland out in wherever in the fuck remote nowhere.  Hanna's skills are honed under his tutelage.  Rightfully so as he is/was a top agent of a US agency that breeds killers, literally.  So daddy brings her to decent standards amongst the worlds top killers.  She steps out on the world stage and test her skill as she wants to venture out of this iceland by way of pressing a GPS device that turns the dogs on her and good ole dad. 


On the run this little bitch goes into a US agency looking for the head of the agency that had to do with the killing of her mother.  She kills a stand in and a few highly trained weak ass guards. She goes free and is on the run to find her dad at a previously determined rendezvous point.


Yadayadaya she goes on to find her father and kills hella people on the way and finds out something about herself she didn't know. What you ask?  I could spoil it for you but fuck that the movie was cool enough to be watched.


My Rating
4/5 Decent super white girl flick

INSIDIOUS

It's Not The House That's Haunted!

I rarely fuck with horror movies nowadays because shit be hella corny to me.  I can say this one was done right.   I haven't seen a good horror movie like this one in a minute.  I can give it the best horror flick in the past 5 years off back.  Most horror is on some gory gruesome looking killer doing vicious killing with an unbelievable tracking skill.  Not really a big fan of that unless there is something special there.  


This started off in typical fashion with a not so typical response.  A white family moved into a new house.  It started off slowly then there young boy had a fall in the attic playing around.  The boy goes into a coma and that's when shit starts going crazy in the house.  The house starts showing sign of being haunted.  The typical response for a white family in these movies is to try and stay in the house and go to war with the haunting entity.  Well they weren't that dumb.  They bounced.


I ain't going to spoil it.  It will be scary to many.   Im a different breed but I will grade this objectively.  I recognize the quality here and its good.


My Rating for a good horror film in an age starving for fright.
4.25-4.5 / 5

GOEMON

This was some epic shit right here!!


Shit like this here is why I fucks with asian movies.


You have a semi-character driven movie based on this dope ass thief named Goemon but on some Robin Hood type shit.  Jacking rich folks for their shit and giving it to the poor is something he does as a hobby.  On top of being a dope ass thief Goemon is a low key dope ass ninja.  He is just an all around dope character doing the typical incredible unbelievable shit these asian movies are famous for.  Extra'd out jumps and leaps, fast ass reflexes, and the incredible 1 vs 2000 ass whoopings.  And all that is executed well.


The visuals on this movie, as well as the story, are what make this one nice.  I want to say it looks like a cartoon/comic book motion picture.  A little bit like Sin City and 300 with the CGI sets and whatnot.  I liked it better than 300 I wouldn't put it above Sin City but it's dope in its own right like Sin City is.  Its real colorful but not over the top and it serves the movie well. 

The whole ensemble was gelling.  I thought it was dope with the all around look, story, acting, and the vibe of it.


My Rating:
5 / 5   Check it out from netflix or wherever if you find it.

The Way Back

Not action packed but decent.

This is more the human will type of movie.   A guy goes to a prison camp in around the time of Communist Russia after he gets sentenced to 20 years for treason or espionage(that's spying for some of u ignants out there).  In America, I believe that is punishable by death, treason is.  But this movie somehow manages to make the Russians look bad for sending this dude to jail.


Once in this cold ass jail the main dude get approached by a co-prisoner and they end up chopping it up about an escape.  While dude who came up with the idea was a bitch ass dude and wasn't really with it other prisoners were down.  So they escape from this prison in the middle of no where.  The fucked up thing is it's winter in already cold ass Russia.  Once anyone escape the townspeople will kill anyone as their will be a bounty place on the heads of any escapee so they can't go to town.  

So what now?  They escape and set of on a journey for thousands of miles in search of India or China for safe haven away from those evil Russian communists.   Some die and some live onthis journey.  In typical fashion, of these types of movies, there are times where the journey seems impossible.   Some want to quit.  Some are stronger than others.  Some die and say leave me and then you get the "No I'm not leaving you" guy trying to inspire the giver upper.  Blah blah blah and they make it.


My Rating 
3.5 / 5

Hobo With A Shotgun!

This movie is CRAY-N'DA-MUTHAFUCK-ZEE!!!

No its not a joke.  In the tradition of Grindhouse film Planet Terror this is a dope ass B movie.  As Samuel Jackson would say "this some repugnant shit".   

Crass, vulgar, distasteful but I couldn't turn away.  It is interesting and unpredictable.  A hobo is bum for those who don't hear that word a lot.  Well that bum has a shotgun and is tired of the bullshit in his town.   The town he stays in is wild'r than a muthafucka.  Im talking cocaine, murders, hookers, pedophile Santa Clauses, exploitative camera men, gangsters, crooked cops, tiddies and some mo shit and all of it is over sensationalized.


This bum "Hobo" is sick of all the shit he is witnessing in a town he arrived at by way of a train.  This town is off the ashtray.  Hobo gets a shotgun and starts killing random bad muthafuckas like he is some kinda virus sweeper.  It all lead up to the head gangster in the town.  This shit is straight ahead with no brakes it just gets blowed'r blowed'r wtihout any break in the shit that keeps coming at you.

It has some funny cheesy ass lines in it that are genuine as is this movie which makes it watchable.

The Drake(the town Gangster) in a conversation giving his favorite son advice on his gangsterism and cheer up after an asswhooping from the Hobo:

The Drake:  Dont worry son everybody gets knocked out once in a while.
Son:  Really?  Have you ever been knocked out?
The Drake:  FUUUCK NO! Im the Drake who's gonna fuck with me?!!(laughs)
......
The Drake: I can give you one sweet morsel of advice.  When life gives you razor blades.  You make a baseball bat covered in razor blades.

I mean this movie is a dope wack movie.  Dope wackness works best when it is done on purpose and this is top shelf dope wackness.

This isn't for those with weak stomachs though.  Its bloody and wild so I wouldn't watch this with Miss Prissy.  

Exceptional Shit!


My Rating
4 - 4.25 /  5

The Rite

Generic!

I wasn't really feeling this one here.  Its one of those exorcist horror movies.  Anthony Hopkins plays a priest, Father Lucas Trevant, with "unorthodox" methods in performing exorcisms who takes in a young man, Michael Kovak, as a favor for one of his fellow booty bandits.  Michael isn't a kid he is an adult with his own beliefs and is a skeptic/athiest.   He doesn't believe in exorcisms.  He write them off as bullshit.

Father Lucas takes him in and shows him the exorcist world.  He shows him a weird looking pregnant chick who is suppose to be possessed by a demon.  The demon makes this pregnant chick an even bigger weirdo.  She scratches chairs and walls, points at people, has patches of hair missing, and occasionally speaks in a deep man/demon voice.  Michael gives a shit about any of these antics and so did I.

Michael doesn't believe in the devil or god he wants "proof".  Father Lucas keeps trying to sell him the idea and eventually wins him over after unfortunate events take place.  The unfortunate event being Father Lucas gets possessed by the "devil". Now Michael feels it is no bullshit and the possessions are real.  Yadadadaya blah blah blah.  And its over.

If you believe in the demon possessing people this might be scary if you are watching this at night or alone.

My Rating"
3/5   

I gotta say that Anthony Hopkins actually looks crazy.  I can see why he got that Lechter role dude he has a creepy guy swag about him that is str8 weirdo!

CENTURION

A bloody tale of Rome in it's heyday of conquering.

This one is about a set of crips and bloods who are beefing about how far their hood will stretch.  The Ancient Crips want a lucrative spot the is inhabited by the Ancient Bloods that is in or around modern day England but around the medieval times.  Well the bloods don't want to leave seeing how the crips have been trying to get the spot because of the dope game profits and bitches.  The main crip named Titus is a real OG and aint about taking no shit at all and he is fully wit the bizness.  He tries to lean on these bloods and is forced by his OG to bring in a bitch who used to be down with the bloods but claims not to fuck with them anymore.

Okay it not about bloods and crips but it damn near on the same shit.  Take out of the bloods and crips mentioned above a put the Romans in the spot of crips and the Picts in the spot of the bloods.  The Romans were being dicks and kept trying to move in on the Picts land.  The Picts weren't no bitches though.  They fought the Romans to a stalemate that lasted for years with no end in sight.

How might this situation being rectified?  A perfectly planted sour bitch amongst the Romans.  Some mute chick with a cut out tongue is taken under the wing of a Roman boss and placed on the team of his most highly decorated General as a scout for finding out where the Picts are in their land, as this bitch "used to be" down with em'.  Well, needless to say the bitch set the army up and the majority of the Romans got merked.  That happens among the crips and bloods.  But the serving that took place was hella bloody and cold.  Fireballs, swords, and just old fashioned ass whooping took place.  It was a perfectly executed set up and the Pict bitch Etain was completely responsible.

In the end there was a pile of carcasses but not everyone in that pile was dead.  One of the dudes in there luckily just got a quick fuck up and was forgot about in the all the commotion.  He later emerged from the death pile after the massacre took place.  He was met by about 3-4 of his comrades and they were looking for their General.  The Picts took his ass with them and this is where the movie gets on some cat and mouse shit as the remaining survivors courageously follow the Picts to get their General from under the Picts captivity.

My Rating:

3.25/ 5  

Decent bloody movie with a few good underlying morals to the story.  One being don't let random bitches whom you know nothing about lead you into uncharted land.  She could be setting your ass up!

THE LICOLN LAWYER

A GOOD HUSTLER MOVIE!

I was glad to have been watching this when I was watching this.  Thats how movies are suppose to be.
  
Most movies have to show you why a character is dope this one delivers it with good performances by some pretty decent actors and it is believable.   You get drawn in early and want this guy to come out victorious in whatever he is gonna involve himself in.


Matthew McConaughey plays a dope lawyer named Mick Haller in this one.   Mick rolls around in a old clean ass Lincoln with a driver.  Thats his office.  He is a hustler on the go.  He's got workers and if you don't work for him he'll get you to, if need be.  He has connects in the right side of law and him being a dope lawyer affords him connects on the wrong side of the law.  Dude is out for his paper in this one and shows what a dope lawyer is about, getting the job done.


Early on in this movie he gets put on a potential client.  A homie of Mick (John Leguizamo-Benny Blanco from the Bronx) puts him on to some money, a rich kid got himself into some bullshit and needed some assistance from a professional who cleans up bullshit.  This case is what makes this movie.


Some whore got beat up and they think this rich kid did it.  He was there on the scene, he had blood on his left hand,  the whore had a beat up right side of her face, a knife was there as well with blood on it, pretty clear cut case.  Not when you got a dope lawyer on your team and Mick is that dude.  Mick is in for a little more than he expected when taking this case on though.


There are some good twists in this one and none throw the movie off.  It keeps you interested.  Good overall all around show.


My Rating:
4.5 / 5                   I liked this one.  Solid film

Kill The Irishman

Gangsta Shit!!!

Another one to add your collection if you are a gangsta flick connoisseur.

This one is based on the life of Danny Green an Irish gangsta in Cleveland trying to find his way.  Apparently Cleveland was mad active back in the 70's because of this dude.   He was an Italian Mafia affiliate and then their relationship went sour when Danny wasn't going to take any of their shit.

This is the type of gangsta movie those rappers and other low budget hood movies aspire to be.  Bitch slaps, car bombs, bullets in asses, whipped asses, italian racial slurs and other gangsta shit, this movie has got it all. Gangsta.  Watching it in the opening sequence when Danny gets the fuck outta an exploding car and gets up and say "Its gonna take more than a few fire crackers to kill Danny Green" will pull you in.  You almost died and you get up and talk some shit after such a close call.  Gangsta. Danny knew the mob wanted him dead what does he do?  He goes on television, does an interview and tells the public where he stays and where he works and if you're looking for him you know where to find him.  Gangsta.


What I liked about this one is Danny liked to give folks an old fashion ass whipping with his hands which now seems to be a lost art.  Guns and bombs are cool but this dude had that fighting Irish gene in him or something because he like to squab.


The cast is solid with a couple of acting veterans in this one.  The story is based on truth, which usually are very interesting, and that makes for a good movie.  The glorification of criminal is all there.   And lets not forget the bitch slaps which should be in the amount of at least good solid one in this genre.


My Rating:
4-4.25/5       Gangsta Gangsta