It's Not The House That's Haunted!
I rarely fuck with horror movies nowadays because shit be hella corny to me. I can say this one was done right. I haven't seen a good horror movie like this one in a minute. I can give it the best horror flick in the past 5 years off back. Most horror is on some gory gruesome looking killer doing vicious killing with an unbelievable tracking skill. Not really a big fan of that unless there is something special there.
This started off in typical fashion with a not so typical response. A white family moved into a new house. It started off slowly then there young boy had a fall in the attic playing around. The boy goes into a coma and that's when shit starts going crazy in the house. The house starts showing sign of being haunted. The typical response for a white family in these movies is to try and stay in the house and go to war with the haunting entity. Well they weren't that dumb. They bounced.
I ain't going to spoil it. It will be scary to many. Im a different breed but I will grade this objectively. I recognize the quality here and its good.
My Rating for a good horror film in an age starving for fright.
4.25-4.5 / 5
This was some epic shit right here!!
Shit like this here is why I fucks with asian movies.
You have a semi-character driven movie based on this dope ass thief named Goemon but on some Robin Hood type shit. Jacking rich folks for their shit and giving it to the poor is something he does as a hobby. On top of being a dope ass thief Goemon is a low key dope ass ninja. He is just an all around dope character doing the typical incredible unbelievable shit these asian movies are famous for. Extra'd out jumps and leaps, fast ass reflexes, and the incredible 1 vs 2000 ass whoopings. And all that is executed well.
The visuals on this movie, as well as the story, are what make this one nice. I want to say it looks like a cartoon/comic book motion picture. A little bit like Sin City and 300 with the CGI sets and whatnot. I liked it better than 300 I wouldn't put it above Sin City but it's dope in its own right like Sin City is. Its real colorful but not over the top and it serves the movie well.
The whole ensemble was gelling. I thought it was dope with the all around look, story, acting, and the vibe of it.
My Rating:
5 / 5 Check it out from netflix or wherever if you find it.
Not action packed but decent.
This is more the human will type of movie. A guy goes to a prison camp in around the time of Communist Russia after he gets sentenced to 20 years for treason or espionage(that's spying for some of u ignants out there). In America, I believe that is punishable by death, treason is. But this movie somehow manages to make the Russians look bad for sending this dude to jail.
Once in this cold ass jail the main dude get approached by a co-prisoner and they end up chopping it up about an escape. While dude who came up with the idea was a bitch ass dude and wasn't really with it other prisoners were down. So they escape from this prison in the middle of no where. The fucked up thing is it's winter in already cold ass Russia. Once anyone escape the townspeople will kill anyone as their will be a bounty place on the heads of any escapee so they can't go to town.
So what now? They escape and set of on a journey for thousands of miles in search of India or China for safe haven away from those evil Russian communists. Some die and some live onthis journey. In typical fashion, of these types of movies, there are times where the journey seems impossible. Some want to quit. Some are stronger than others. Some die and say leave me and then you get the "No I'm not leaving you" guy trying to inspire the giver upper. Blah blah blah and they make it.
My Rating
3.5 / 5
This movie is CRAY-N'DA-MUTHAFUCK-ZEE!!!
No its not a joke. In the tradition of Grindhouse film Planet Terror this is a dope ass B movie. As Samuel Jackson would say "this some repugnant shit".
Crass, vulgar, distasteful but I couldn't turn away. It is interesting and unpredictable. A hobo is bum for those who don't hear that word a lot. Well that bum has a shotgun and is tired of the bullshit in his town. The town he stays in is wild'r than a muthafucka. Im talking cocaine, murders, hookers, pedophile Santa Clauses, exploitative camera men, gangsters, crooked cops, tiddies and some mo shit and all of it is over sensationalized.
This bum "Hobo" is sick of all the shit he is witnessing in a town he arrived at by way of a train. This town is off the ashtray. Hobo gets a shotgun and starts killing random bad muthafuckas like he is some kinda virus sweeper. It all lead up to the head gangster in the town. This shit is straight ahead with no brakes it just gets blowed'r blowed'r wtihout any break in the shit that keeps coming at you.
It has some funny cheesy ass lines in it that are genuine as is this movie which makes it watchable.
The Drake(the town Gangster) in a conversation giving his favorite son advice on his gangsterism and cheer up after an asswhooping from the Hobo:
The Drake: Dont worry son everybody gets knocked out once in a while.
Son: Really? Have you ever been knocked out?
The Drake: FUUUCK NO! Im the Drake who's gonna fuck with me?!!(laughs)
......
The Drake: I can give you one sweet morsel of advice. When life gives you razor blades. You make a baseball bat covered in razor blades.
I mean this movie is a dope wack movie. Dope wackness works best when it is done on purpose and this is top shelf dope wackness.
This isn't for those with weak stomachs though. Its bloody and wild so I wouldn't watch this with Miss Prissy.
Exceptional Shit!
My Rating
4 - 4.25 / 5
Generic!
I wasn't really feeling this one here. Its one of those exorcist horror movies. Anthony Hopkins plays a priest, Father Lucas Trevant, with "unorthodox" methods in performing exorcisms who takes in a young man, Michael Kovak, as a favor for one of his fellow booty bandits. Michael isn't a kid he is an adult with his own beliefs and is a skeptic/athiest. He doesn't believe in exorcisms. He write them off as bullshit.
Father Lucas takes him in and shows him the exorcist world. He shows him a weird looking pregnant chick who is suppose to be possessed by a demon. The demon makes this pregnant chick an even bigger weirdo. She scratches chairs and walls, points at people, has patches of hair missing, and occasionally speaks in a deep man/demon voice.
Michael gives a shit about any of these antics and so did I.
Michael doesn't believe in the devil or god he wants "proof". Father Lucas keeps trying to sell him the idea and eventually wins him over after unfortunate events take place. The unfortunate event being Father Lucas gets possessed by the "devil". Now Michael feels it is no bullshit and the possessions are real. Yadadadaya blah blah blah. And its over.
If you believe in the demon possessing people this might be scary if you are watching this at night or alone.
My Rating"
3/5
I gotta say that Anthony Hopkins actually looks crazy. I can see why he got that Lechter role dude he has a creepy guy swag about him that is str8 weirdo!
A bloody tale of Rome in it's heyday of conquering.
This one is about a set of crips and bloods who are beefing about how far their hood will stretch. The Ancient Crips want a lucrative spot the is inhabited by the Ancient Bloods that is in or around modern day England but around the medieval times. Well the bloods don't want to leave seeing how the crips have been trying to get the spot because of the dope game profits and bitches. The main crip named Titus is a real OG and aint about taking no shit at all and he is fully wit the bizness. He tries to lean on these bloods and is forced by his OG to bring in a bitch who used to be down with the bloods but claims not to fuck with them anymore.
Okay it not about bloods and crips but it damn near on the same shit. Take out of the bloods and crips mentioned above a put the Romans in the spot of crips and the Picts in the spot of the bloods. The Romans were being dicks and kept trying to move in on the Picts land. The Picts weren't no bitches though. They fought the Romans to a stalemate that lasted for years with no end in sight.
How might this situation being rectified? A perfectly planted sour bitch amongst the Romans. Some mute chick with a cut out tongue is taken under the wing of a Roman boss and placed on the team of his most highly decorated General as a scout for finding out where the Picts are in their land, as this bitch "used to be" down with em'. Well, needless to say the bitch set the army up and the majority of the Romans got merked. That happens among the crips and bloods. But the serving that took place was hella bloody and cold. Fireballs, swords, and just old fashioned ass whooping took place. It was a perfectly executed set up and the Pict bitch Etain was completely responsible.
In the end there was a pile of carcasses but not everyone in that pile was dead. One of the dudes in there luckily just got a quick fuck up and was forgot about in the all the commotion. He later emerged from the death pile after the massacre took place. He was met by about 3-4 of his comrades and they were looking for their General. The Picts took his ass with them and this is where the movie gets on some cat and mouse shit as the remaining survivors courageously follow the Picts to get their General from under the Picts captivity.
My Rating:
3.25/ 5
Decent bloody movie with a few good underlying morals to the story. One being don't let random bitches whom you know nothing about lead you into uncharted land. She could be setting your ass up!
A GOOD HUSTLER MOVIE!
I was glad to have been watching this when I was watching this. Thats how movies are suppose to be.
Most movies have to show you why a character is dope this one delivers it with good performances by some pretty decent actors and it is believable. You get drawn in early and want this guy to come out victorious in whatever he is gonna involve himself in.
Matthew McConaughey plays a dope lawyer named Mick Haller in this one. Mick rolls around in a old clean ass Lincoln with a driver. Thats his office. He is a hustler on the go. He's got workers and if you don't work for him he'll get you to, if need be. He has connects in the right side of law and him being a dope lawyer affords him connects on the wrong side of the law. Dude is out for his paper in this one and shows what a dope lawyer is about, getting the job done.
Early on in this movie he gets put on a potential client. A homie of Mick (John Leguizamo-Benny Blanco from the Bronx) puts him on to some money, a rich kid got himself into some bullshit and needed some assistance from a professional who cleans up bullshit. This case is what makes this movie.
Some whore got beat up and they think this rich kid did it. He was there on the scene, he had blood on his left hand, the whore had a beat up right side of her face, a knife was there as well with blood on it, pretty clear cut case. Not when you got a dope lawyer on your team and Mick is that dude. Mick is in for a little more than he expected when taking this case on though.
There are some good twists in this one and none throw the movie off. It keeps you interested. Good overall all around show.
My Rating:
4.5 / 5 I liked this one. Solid film
