This movie is CRAY-N'DA-MUTHAFUCK-ZEE!!!
No its not a joke. In the tradition of Grindhouse film Planet Terror this is a dope ass B movie. As Samuel Jackson would say "this some repugnant shit".
Crass, vulgar, distasteful but I couldn't turn away. It is interesting and unpredictable. A hobo is bum for those who don't hear that word a lot. Well that bum has a shotgun and is tired of the bullshit in his town. The town he stays in is wild'r than a muthafucka. Im talking cocaine, murders, hookers, pedophile Santa Clauses, exploitative camera men, gangsters, crooked cops, tiddies and some mo shit and all of it is over sensationalized.
This bum "Hobo" is sick of all the shit he is witnessing in a town he arrived at by way of a train. This town is off the ashtray. Hobo gets a shotgun and starts killing random bad muthafuckas like he is some kinda virus sweeper. It all lead up to the head gangster in the town. This shit is straight ahead with no brakes it just gets blowed'r blowed'r wtihout any break in the shit that keeps coming at you.
It has some funny cheesy ass lines in it that are genuine as is this movie which makes it watchable.
The Drake(the town Gangster) in a conversation giving his favorite son advice on his gangsterism and cheer up after an asswhooping from the Hobo:
The Drake: Dont worry son everybody gets knocked out once in a while.
Son: Really? Have you ever been knocked out?
The Drake: FUUUCK NO! Im the Drake who's gonna fuck with me?!!(laughs)
......
The Drake: I can give you one sweet morsel of advice. When life gives you razor blades. You make a baseball bat covered in razor blades.
I mean this movie is a dope wack movie. Dope wackness works best when it is done on purpose and this is top shelf dope wackness.
This isn't for those with weak stomachs though. Its bloody and wild so I wouldn't watch this with Miss Prissy.
Exceptional Shit!
My Rating
4 - 4.25 / 5
Generic!
I wasn't really feeling this one here. Its one of those exorcist horror movies. Anthony Hopkins plays a priest, Father Lucas Trevant, with "unorthodox" methods in performing exorcisms who takes in a young man, Michael Kovak, as a favor for one of his fellow booty bandits. Michael isn't a kid he is an adult with his own beliefs and is a skeptic/athiest. He doesn't believe in exorcisms. He write them off as bullshit.
Father Lucas takes him in and shows him the exorcist world. He shows him a weird looking pregnant chick who is suppose to be possessed by a demon. The demon makes this pregnant chick an even bigger weirdo. She scratches chairs and walls, points at people, has patches of hair missing, and occasionally speaks in a deep man/demon voice.
Michael gives a shit about any of these antics and so did I.
Michael doesn't believe in the devil or god he wants "proof". Father Lucas keeps trying to sell him the idea and eventually wins him over after unfortunate events take place. The unfortunate event being Father Lucas gets possessed by the "devil". Now Michael feels it is no bullshit and the possessions are real. Yadadadaya blah blah blah. And its over.
If you believe in the demon possessing people this might be scary if you are watching this at night or alone.
My Rating"
3/5
I gotta say that Anthony Hopkins actually looks crazy. I can see why he got that Lechter role dude he has a creepy guy swag about him that is str8 weirdo!
A bloody tale of Rome in it's heyday of conquering.
This one is about a set of crips and bloods who are beefing about how far their hood will stretch. The Ancient Crips want a lucrative spot the is inhabited by the Ancient Bloods that is in or around modern day England but around the medieval times. Well the bloods don't want to leave seeing how the crips have been trying to get the spot because of the dope game profits and bitches. The main crip named Titus is a real OG and aint about taking no shit at all and he is fully wit the bizness. He tries to lean on these bloods and is forced by his OG to bring in a bitch who used to be down with the bloods but claims not to fuck with them anymore.
Okay it not about bloods and crips but it damn near on the same shit. Take out of the bloods and crips mentioned above a put the Romans in the spot of crips and the Picts in the spot of the bloods. The Romans were being dicks and kept trying to move in on the Picts land. The Picts weren't no bitches though. They fought the Romans to a stalemate that lasted for years with no end in sight.
How might this situation being rectified? A perfectly planted sour bitch amongst the Romans. Some mute chick with a cut out tongue is taken under the wing of a Roman boss and placed on the team of his most highly decorated General as a scout for finding out where the Picts are in their land, as this bitch "used to be" down with em'. Well, needless to say the bitch set the army up and the majority of the Romans got merked. That happens among the crips and bloods. But the serving that took place was hella bloody and cold. Fireballs, swords, and just old fashioned ass whooping took place. It was a perfectly executed set up and the Pict bitch Etain was completely responsible.
In the end there was a pile of carcasses but not everyone in that pile was dead. One of the dudes in there luckily just got a quick fuck up and was forgot about in the all the commotion. He later emerged from the death pile after the massacre took place. He was met by about 3-4 of his comrades and they were looking for their General. The Picts took his ass with them and this is where the movie gets on some cat and mouse shit as the remaining survivors courageously follow the Picts to get their General from under the Picts captivity.
My Rating:
3.25/ 5
Decent bloody movie with a few good underlying morals to the story. One being don't let random bitches whom you know nothing about lead you into uncharted land. She could be setting your ass up!
A GOOD HUSTLER MOVIE!
I was glad to have been watching this when I was watching this. Thats how movies are suppose to be.
Most movies have to show you why a character is dope this one delivers it with good performances by some pretty decent actors and it is believable. You get drawn in early and want this guy to come out victorious in whatever he is gonna involve himself in.
Matthew McConaughey plays a dope lawyer named Mick Haller in this one. Mick rolls around in a old clean ass Lincoln with a driver. Thats his office. He is a hustler on the go. He's got workers and if you don't work for him he'll get you to, if need be. He has connects in the right side of law and him being a dope lawyer affords him connects on the wrong side of the law. Dude is out for his paper in this one and shows what a dope lawyer is about, getting the job done.
Early on in this movie he gets put on a potential client. A homie of Mick (John Leguizamo-Benny Blanco from the Bronx) puts him on to some money, a rich kid got himself into some bullshit and needed some assistance from a professional who cleans up bullshit. This case is what makes this movie.
Some whore got beat up and they think this rich kid did it. He was there on the scene, he had blood on his left hand, the whore had a beat up right side of her face, a knife was there as well with blood on it, pretty clear cut case. Not when you got a dope lawyer on your team and Mick is that dude. Mick is in for a little more than he expected when taking this case on though.
There are some good twists in this one and none throw the movie off. It keeps you interested. Good overall all around show.
My Rating:
4.5 / 5 I liked this one. Solid film
Gangsta Shit!!!
Another one to add your collection if you are a gangsta flick connoisseur.
This one is based on the life of Danny Green an Irish gangsta in Cleveland trying to find his way. Apparently Cleveland was mad active back in the 70's because of this dude. He was an Italian Mafia affiliate and then their relationship went sour when Danny wasn't going to take any of their shit.
This is the type of gangsta movie those rappers and other low budget hood movies aspire to be. Bitch slaps, car bombs, bullets in asses, whipped asses, italian racial slurs and other gangsta shit, this movie has got it all. Gangsta. Watching it in the opening sequence when Danny gets the fuck outta an exploding car and gets up and say "Its gonna take more than a few fire crackers to kill Danny Green" will pull you in. You almost died and you get up and talk some shit after such a close call. Gangsta. Danny knew the mob wanted him dead what does he do? He goes on television, does an interview and tells the public where he stays and where he works and if you're looking for him you know where to find him. Gangsta.
What I liked about this one is Danny liked to give folks an old fashion ass whipping with his hands which now seems to be a lost art. Guns and bombs are cool but this dude had that fighting Irish gene in him or something because he like to squab.
The cast is solid with a couple of acting veterans in this one. The story is based on truth, which usually are very interesting, and that makes for a good movie. The glorification of criminal is all there. And lets not forget the bitch slaps which should be in the amount of at least good solid one in this genre.
My Rating:
4-4.25/5 Gangsta Gangsta
Hollywood waists money like a muthafucka.
Move on folks nothing to see here.
Okay so this is another alien movie. Its not your typical alien movie its more like a war movie but the enemy is the aliens.
LA gets fucked up. You have your typical inspirational speech in the time of crisis with no sign of victory. They figure out what the aliens are there for, how to kill the aliens, and they smash the mothership.
Typical movie. Nothing jumps out about this one except the sounds and quality of them. They have a few actors and actresses that are recognizable in this one. None of the performances f'd this one up but nothing grabbed me either.
Because I am a bit inquisitive I know where the idea of this came from.
Apparently, according to newspaper articles, back in 1942 there was an air invasion in Santa Monica and some shit popped up that didn't leave until it wanted to. Thus we have this lackluster movie here.
My Rating:
2.5-3/5 I wasn't really feeling this shit.
I laughed on this one.
This movie Hall Pass is about a few married guys and how get a "Hall Pass" from their wives for a week. A "Hall Pass" for the unaware is like a permission slip from a wife to a husband (or vice versa for some dumb ass dudes) to go out, mack up, and wrap up some new ass. The thing about it is these dudes are in their 40's and have been out of the game for years so they ain't really in tip top macking shape and are bound for some scrapes and just looking plain stupid.
I got some good ass laughs out of this and I was glad to see the directors delivered on this. The same dudes who made Kingpin and Something About Mary, the Farelly Brothers, put this one together solidly. A functional cast for this movie and they even got Kelly Bundy in this one.
Solid comedy amongst the bullshit out there.
My Rating:
4.25/5
Lately I been seeing hella movie posters with this nigga 50 Cent on em'. So I said fuck it! im going to see what this niggas movies are like. Some have been trash ass. I aint gonna lie. And its not because he can't act.
50 is like the new Ice T but he isn't a bad actor as Ice was in the beginning of his career. Ice was hustling the movie game and getting big bread for low budget ass movies who used his face for marketing. 50 is on that route as of lately but he aint fucking up scenes, at least not for me he isn't. You may hate the dude because you think he is an asshole but I always seen him as a character. Now he is playing characters in movies, for the bread. Can't hate that.
This movie is a mixture of a bunch of overly privileged white teenagers doing nothing but enjoying the fruits of their status as children of rich folks. It focuses on a drug dealer, White Mike, who lost his mother to cancer. His father coincidentally lost his restaurant taking care of the hospital bills that accumulated while she was dying with cancer. So White Mike took to dealing drugs (Weed, not any major shit like cocaine) to white privileged kids he once went to school and rubbed shoulders with. White Mike buys his drugs from the only nigga in the movie, 50 Cent. Yes, 50 plays the dope dealers supplier, a big drug dealer.
50 sells a designer drug called 12 that he turn one of the little high society white girls out with. The movie isn't focused so much on this drug called 12 as it is with life choices and the connection that everybody has with someone through friends, associates, or family.
It was busy enough to keep my attention. None of the acting threw me off. The have a narrator which is a bit cliche for low budget types for me but it worked. Drunk ass Kiefer Sutherland played the narrator so it was a decent on that end. Cool all around nothing spectacular though.
My Rating
3.25/5
This movie is a bit blowed and has a decent amount of drama.
Can you rape your wife? Really? Her pussy is you now your pussy once the ring goes on the finger, right?
My position on it is if you can take the pussy then yes you can rape your wife. Cus that is what rape is isn't it?! Taking the pussy. Receiving is the only way to go fellas, but I digress.
The movie starts off with a brotha named Terrence in a cool grown folks jazz type club who spots a sista, Angelica, chilling by herself. So he starts macking and "the next thing I know " he ends up getting ready for the takedown at the crib (They are actually married and role playing. He didn't overwhelm this breezie with game and she wasnt out stanking it up that night, but I moving on). Back to almost getting that ass. Its about to pop off and then... bump bump bump... a noise from from upstairs. What is that? A burglar muthafucka! Because you and the bitch are supposed to be the only ones there.
Well this situation is when the two totally different personality types come into play. This bitch Angelica is a live bitch. Sassy, combative, bullheaded, independent, unmanageable, overly strong, unruly- all the things a black man wants in a women LMAO. Terrence is a laid back nice brotha who turns out to be quite the simp as the movie progressed, he seems like a white or asian girl would have suited him much better over this chick (dont scrunch ya face up either, just talking shit). Angelica wants to see what the noise is. Terrence wants to bounce and call the police and let them handle it.
Well Angelica heads up stairs despite Terrence being in the process exiting the building. she goes up stairs the burglar grabs her and takes her with Terrence about 15 feet away watching. He doesn't chase this masked dude to get his wife back. The burglar drops her and comes at Terrence. Angelica hits him in the head with a vase and dude stumbles past Terrence who doesn't bank this nigga or nothing.
Well thats it Terrence is officially a bitch ass nigga in Angelica's eyes and there aint no coming back from that, it a wrap. Or is it? This aint the type of chick ou let get the upper hand in the relationship. She bounces on him one night to go see a Ex for a "business meeting" at night to sell her and Terrence's business which he doesn't want to sell. She gets pretty and sprays the smell good on her shoulder, wrists, and between the legs all in front of this nigga Terrence and tells him fuck your dinner you just made Im going out. What does this nigga do? He lets her and then stalks this bitch and her ex in the club.
While stalking her sister Jasmine who coincidentally is at the club. She sees whats happening and stops Terrence from whipping out the jammy and flat blasting both their asses. But he didn't have on a $3700 linx coat. Jasmine then gives this nigga a pointer saying Angelica needs to be given the idea that he is a strong man and powerful. "You need to take it" is this bitches advice. Yes that right the bitch said he should rape her and she would like it.
WTF. I know. I know. The movie progresses this bitch Angelica doesn't get anymore likable. The actress did a great job portraying a bitch. The actor playing Terrence played a good simp, if you can do that. The movie isn't as bad as some reviews. Black women will like this shit. I found it entertaining for a low budget movie which means the story and script have to be decent. The ending was aight.
I don't want to tell the rest but it doesn't get any cornier. Well I'll say I would watch this over a Tyler Perry Madea movie. Its a bit wordy (like this review) but so the fuck what. I like dialogue thats decent in my movies. The man was a bit too simpish for my liking but it ended well so not many complaints on this end.
My Review
3/5
