The story goes as their is an upscale hotel manager (Ben Stiller) who has a wealthy businessman "invest" some money for him and others and they fall victim to his shady business practices. As you should be able to tell from the title they want to get that shit back. So they assemble a team of willing to jack the rich CEO who is acting like he lost all the money. They weren't buying that shit not one bit.
You have a cast of Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick, Ben Stiller, Michael Pena, and Casey Affleck. All these dudes are directed by Brett Ratner. Surprisingly Ben wasn't that funny here and I attribute that to his character in the movie but he wasn't going to be the comic relief in this with Eddie Murphy in it anyway. So Eddie was the funny dude in this, of course. Eddie's character was mad niggarish in this one. He was a low scale criminal/thief who wasn't not to be trusted. Michael Pena, the dude all the way to the back on the lest side was funny in this movie too. He had at least one of the top 3 funniest moments in this one.
Its not really a str8 comedy so don't go to see and expect that. But it is a good watch. The quality direction from Brett Ratner and the comedy from Eddie and Michael Pena made this movie.
My Rating 3/5
Burning piles of shit.
Okay I try to be light and fun when watching movies and in reviewing them but this shit right here struck my inner militant to come out. This shit had blacks looking real bad man.
At the start, I'm watching this movie and the beginning story was a bit awkward. There are five stories/shorts and I'm giving it a chance because in my opinion great movies are a culmination of great scenes/stories. Just look at you favorite movies and you will see this to be generally true. But I digress. The first story was awkward. There was a man whose daughter was coming to town to visit him and his fiance. They had a weird relationship to say the least.
What had me taken back on this movie is the 3rd short Buyers Remorse. In this story 2 gay white males were looking to adopt. At the beginning of this my finger was damn near on the skip chapter button with that information alone. So they wanted to adopt and were getting prepared to do so. So a Russian dude comes to the door and he has a little black girl with him. The gays pay the Russian a wad of money for this little black girl and adoption papers that I take it they weren't going to have to go through hell to be turned down for. Finally, the 2 gay white dudes get this little black girl on the "black market".
The little black girl is about 7 and they have her playing mute. She doesn't want to talk or doesn't know how to talk. You get all kinds of little questionable jokes about that in itself. So the little black girl is living with these 2 gay white males and these dudes are having loud gay sex with her in the room. I was hella close to skipping this short but I was already in angry black man mode with the depiction so I was going to see where they were going with this so fast forward would do here and there. Now the 2 gays go showing of their newly adopted "pet nigga" to another gay couple who also adopted. They make a slick ass joke when they see the other gay couples adopted girl who was Asian and who was mutil-lingual.
So this shit comes to ahead when they 2 gay white dudes throw a party for this mute black girl they adopted. At the party a little white girl sees a possum climbing up a tree and says something to the like of "Oh look mommy a possum isn't it cute". At that very moment the distant mute little black girl goes into her instinctive tribal mode and rushes to the nearest Spear and chucks that at the possum to kill it. Yeah, a mute spearchucker is what they got when they were just trying to adopt.
This shit end when they end up dropping her off in the middle of the woods with a bag and some more shit. I guess they felt she would feel more at home their. The cut the scene and the 2 gays have a dog and now they are satisfied with that void filled. I guess a pet dog is better than a pet nigga in this short.
So that was enough. Im not in movie enjoying mode anymore. But I'm going to watch this to see what Zoe Saldana does as she is the star name on this movie package. Well I get to her story and this is how it begins, with this image...
Okay so on the surface what do we have here. A white hand holding a black woman down by her head. Well it goes a bit further as the owner of that white hand is raping her. He is white but he is wearing a mask. He finishes and leaves his wallet in the house during his raping fiasco. Zoe's character doesn't even call the cops after the incident(I figured it was shock or whatever benefit of the doubt). But she starts cleaning and then spots the wallet under the couch. Now she knows who raped her and I'm thinking shes gonna do some gruesome fucked up Hostel type. But she goes on about her business in regular fashion.
At this moment I'm getting mentally prepared to see some cold rape revenge shit like The Last House on the Left. So she still doesn't report this dude to the police. She stalks this dude and finds out where he lives and works. Zoe's character goes to the rapist's job and doesn't confront him. She does some weird shit and invites this dude on a date. I'm taken back again, okay maybe she is playing nice and is going to switch it up. Nope, she goes on a date and carries on like the dude she knows raped her is courting her, and she is overly loquacious.
The date ends up at her house. The same house where she was raped by this white dude. Raping white guy was reluctant to go back to her house thinking it was a set up and so did I, but it wasn't. She lured him there by saying that is where his wallet and she was going to return it. So now he is back in the house and gets mad at the act he thinks is going on because the shit is strange. He raped you in your house with a mask on, he brought his wallet like a dumbass, lost his wallet in your house like a dumbass, you find him giving the appearance of wanting to return his wallet, get him to go on a date by saying you were going to return his wallet, say you forgot the wallet back at your house, convince him there isn't a hellacious revenge group back at your house, get to your house and you want to play games with him (uno, scrabble and shit) like he legitimately macked you up when he did the complete opposite of macking you up. WTF is wrong with this bitch?(what Im thinking)
Well Zoe has a mask and wants this white dude to do it again?? What she loved the raping that much to have that scenario played out again?
I take it niggas love being mistreated by whites though and some black women enjoy being raped by white dudes.
We have another one to add to vast super white girl genre of movies.
This one was pretty decent though. It was done in a believable manner. You have Hanna, the super white girl who weighs under 120lbs soaking wet with a cover, who is raised in a cold harsh climate where she is taught to survive by her father. Hanna starts off slipping a bit after she is killing an animal but fails to keep aware of her surroundings when good old dad sneaks up on her and her kill and points a gun to her head and says "you're dead". What would life be like without a father to tell you in a corrective fashion you're dead when caught slipping?
Hanna and her father in the middle of an iceland out in wherever in the fuck remote nowhere. Hanna's skills are honed under his tutelage. Rightfully so as he is/was a top agent of a US agency that breeds killers, literally. So daddy brings her to decent standards amongst the worlds top killers. She steps out on the world stage and test her skill as she wants to venture out of this iceland by way of pressing a GPS device that turns the dogs on her and good ole dad.
On the run this little bitch goes into a US agency looking for the head of the agency that had to do with the killing of her mother. She kills a stand in and a few highly trained weak ass guards. She goes free and is on the run to find her dad at a previously determined rendezvous point.
Yadayadaya she goes on to find her father and kills hella people on the way and finds out something about herself she didn't know. What you ask? I could spoil it for you but fuck that the movie was cool enough to be watched.
My Rating
4/5 Decent super white girl flick
