THOR

I got around to this one and was a bit disappointed.  Maybe it was all the good stuff I heard about it had me thinking this movie was going to be much better.  

The fights were mediocre.  The romance between Thor and "mortal" was throwing me off.  The plot was aight, been there before seen it done better.  Thor had his eyebrows died looking like a wierdo.   Shit just wasn't gellin'

My Rating:
3/5  

I will say I wanted way more out of this and it was not delivered

GOOD DEEDS

Another Tyler Perry one y'all


This one ain't even have a trailer put out on the internet yet nugga, this is some exclusive shit.


Okay, again,  I like to be neutral with this brotha.  He seems to be stepping his game up quite nicely.  This movie was good.


Its about a brotha, Wesley Deeds played by Perry, who is the successor of a software company founded by his father.  He has a a fine ass fiance, played by fine ass Gabrielle Union,  an asshole/alcoholic/fuck up of a brother played by Brian White, and a mother played by Claire Huxtable(Phylicia Rashad).  Thandie Neewton is in this one too playing the self-defeating black woman real tough.


So as I laid out before Wesley Deeds is the CEO of a software company.  He inherited that position from his dad after he died and his brother Walter Deeds, played by Brian White, is jealous of him for getting offered that position over him because Wesley didn't want it as bad as him.  But his brother is a fuck up and an asshole to the umpteenth degree.   He is reckless as fuck at the mouth and doesn't really have restraint enough to head the business.  Walter gets DUI's, fucks random bitches in the workplace, and checks women in public not exactly the nigga to run a company of this caliber, maybe more suitable for Walter's Chicken Shack or some shit similar.


Thandie Newton plays the angry disgruntled self defeating black woman named Lindsey.  She has a story that will make you lightweight understand her situation.  But here attitude will have you teetering on having sympathy for her or being on a "that's what her angry ass deserves" mentality about her doing's. She has an adorable snag-a-tooth daughter that balances out your feelings toward her. Thandie plays the fuck outta her angry black woman character.  She is real disrespectful to the brothers, plays the soft victim role when she put on blast for fucking but will quickly return to asshole again in a second. 


So this Lindsey crosses paths with Wesley Deeds in a dispute over a parking space where she parks in Wesley's spot and he catches her and she basically tells him to f#ck off.  Walter, played by Brian White, wasn't having that disrespect towards his brother and didn't approve of Wesley's handling of the situation.  So Walter expresses that with an up'd level of disrespect and the tone is set with these characters.


So further down, Tyler's character finds out about Thadie's character situation, which is sad, and his inner Captain comes out and saves her and her adorable daughter.  His dealings with this angry Lindsey leads him to thinking about what his life has become and what life has to offer in general.  He begins to question his engagement etc.


Bottomline, I was impressed by this movie.  Tyler Perry has stepped it up in this one and I would like to see more from him like this.   With his cape out on this one, he is catering to black women in this one as he always does, but that is his main audience and he is getting paper from it so I can't knock him.  I don't think it would have went down quite like it did in the movie most woulda wrote Thandie's character off due to her attitude early on but it made for an entertaining evening so I ain't mad.


My Rating:
4.5/5
Leave the dress and Madea alone, keep this good work up and you'll have new fans.

UPDATE:
THIS IS THE BEST TYLER HAS PUT FORTH SINCE THE FAMILY THAT PREYS AND THE FIRST WHY DID I GET MARRIED!  

WE THE PEEBLES

This is a film under he Tyler Perry umbrella with a release date TBA(Google it). That's becoming my new shit, Google it!.

I got my opinions on this dude Tyler Perry, I'll focus on the positive side of them right now and say this dude is hustling up an empire that's to be respected.  He is like the Hollywood Jesus coming to save out of work black actors and actresses destitute of good acting jobs. I love that he is employing folks Hollywood doesn't know how to fuck with or simply just don't.

This movie has Craig Robinson, fine ass Kerry Washington, and David Allen Grier to name the marquee names. Tyler didn't direct it himself he's putting someone else on. A female director, Tina Gordon Chism, did this movie.  It's a comedy minus men in dresses acting silly and coonish. None of that, this goes into the regular family comedy category.

I was pleased by this movie. There was no wild over the top ish going on. The cast did their jobs, the director did her job well, and the story was cool.  And that all came together as what would be a cool night out with the fam or a date.

Craig Robinson's character is a man who makes songs for children to help them get potty trained correctly.  On some guitar don't pee on yourself corny type ish which translated to some funny ish seeing this big ass dude singing to kids on some Yo Gabba Gabba ish..  His character is looking to get married to Kerry Washington's character who is a bit secretive about here family and is hesitant to introduce them to her man.


She sneaks off to a family retreat and Craig's character crashes the party only to find out his future fiance's family doesn't even know about him.  David Allan Grier is playing the father, damn a nigga getting old.  David's is playing the uptight asshole future father in law who is weary of this new nigga, Craig's character.


Mix some drugs, alcohol, and lesbian sex in the mix and you got a nice concoction that ends up being entertainable


My Rating
4/5

It wasn't corny and that is a good thing.

Bridesmaids

I kept hearing good reviews about this movie, they were all true. I steer clear of chick flicks, which was written all over this movie.  Upon review I would say the best way to describe this movie would be a Judd Apatow movie with an all female cast.


The story is about a woman who has a childhood friend that is going to get married and has another/new friend who is trying to play the role best friend.  The two, one a bridesmaid and the other a maid of honor, go at throughout the movie like jealous women do.


Been a minute since I seen it though but I got good memories.


My rating:
5/5


It was good

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

I was entertained.

 To give a quick review - this movie is about a Scientific Research/Pharmaceutical Engineering Lab experimenting with a new drug on chimpanzee's that is hoped to curb Alzheimer's Disease in humans.  The drug ALZ-112 improves the brain.   Chimps get a hold of this drug and wreck shit.

One of the researcher is happy with the results and pushes for a review of the drugs potential to get more funding from a board of investors. They were going to showcase the results of the drug with a chimp that has advanced.  When the researcher went to get the advanced chimp the ape was uncooperative.  They went after the uncooperative chimp with the dog grabbing tool dog catchers use, lmao at that time.  The chimp does some wild animal shit gets to the room of the meeting and gets shot.  End of discussion, they aint fucking with the drug.

Chimps, who are already highly intelligent on a level equal to or greater than humans, become smarter by way of scientific manipulation through an experimental drug and become overwhelming and start to wreck shit. People(white) already shouldn't fuck with these animals because they're wild animals who are smart as people. Leave them in they're habitat! They are the equivalent of a crazy person with emotional problem given a steroid shot laced with PCP and some more shit. You cannot adequately neutralize them if they become irate. All you do is break, but wait they move faster than you too. So that's your ass! Google chimp attacks.


My rating:
4.5/5

SAFE HOUSE

Denzel is at it again.


This brotha never fails to deliver on his part and hasn't been in a weak movie since I don't fucking remember.  He keeps the streak going in this action thriller with Ryan Reynolds.  Ryan is the dude that recently played The Green Lantern and just got divorced from Scarlett Johansson, who in my opinion is the baddest white girl in Hollywood today.  He got a cool breakoff too cause neither one broke off much paper in the split and he's getting back to back top movie roles right.  So this dude Ryan is WINNING right about now.


On to the movie, shit was dope.


What about the plot?
There is Denzel's character, Tobin Frost, who is an old slick ass Ex-Veteran CIA agent who grew a distaste for the CIA long ago.  Ryan Reynold's character, Matt Weston, who is a young CIA associate in his salad days of working for the CIA in a safe house he holds down waiting for visitors(CIA agents who need a safe house to do whatever).  Well Denzel is on the run from some bad guys after he come upon some very sensitive information which would expose corruption in the CIA and many other facets in the US(politics, corporations etc.)  So this information is not some shit certain people want to get further than the soon to be dead person who come in contact with it.  In short, Denzel is a killer and Ryan Reynolds is a sub bitch ass rookie.


Denzel acquires some information and people around him start to immediately die.  Im talking bullets in the asses kids, they momma's, daddy's, random old ladies in the market the muthafuckas that are on Denzel for that info are real.  But Denzel is a killer, not a cold hearted one though "I only kill professionals" is what he's about.  Denzel is old but he is running on roof tops and whipping asses in this one like an action star in his prime.


My Rating

5/ 5  I felt the shit was dope.  Denzel at his best!
Here is a trailer on this yotch!

Tower Hiest

The story goes as their is an upscale hotel manager (Ben Stiller) who has a wealthy businessman "invest" some money for him and others and they fall victim to his shady business practices.  As you should be able to tell from the title they want to get that shit back.  So they assemble a team of willing to jack the rich CEO who is acting like he lost all the money.  They weren't buying that shit not one bit.


You have a cast of Eddie Murphy, Matthew Broderick, Ben Stiller, Michael Pena, and Casey Affleck.  All these dudes are directed by Brett Ratner.  Surprisingly Ben wasn't that funny here and I attribute that to his character in the movie but he wasn't going to be the comic relief in this with Eddie Murphy in it anyway.   So Eddie was the funny dude in this, of course.  Eddie's character was mad niggarish in this one.  He was a low scale criminal/thief who wasn't not to be trusted.  Michael Pena, the dude all the way to the back on the lest side was funny in this movie too.  He had at least one of the top 3 funniest moments in this one.


Its not really a str8 comedy so don't go to see and expect that.  But it is a good watch.  The quality direction from Brett Ratner and the comedy from Eddie and Michael Pena made this movie.


My Rating 3/5

Burning Palms

Burning piles of shit.

Okay I try to be light and fun when watching movies and in reviewing them but this shit right here struck my inner militant to come out.  This shit had blacks looking real bad man.

At the start, I'm watching this movie and the beginning story was a bit awkward.  There are five stories/shorts and I'm giving it a chance because in my opinion great movies are a culmination of great scenes/stories.  Just look at you favorite movies and you will see this to be generally true. But I digress.  The first story was awkward.  There was a man whose daughter was coming to town to visit him and his fiance.  They had a weird relationship to say the least.


What had me taken back on this movie is the 3rd short Buyers Remorse. In this story 2 gay white males were looking to adopt.  At the beginning of this my finger was damn near on the skip chapter button with that information alone.  So they wanted to adopt and were getting prepared to do so.  So a Russian dude comes to the door and he has a little black girl with him.  The gays pay the Russian a wad of money for this little black girl and adoption papers that I take it they weren't going to have to go through hell to be turned down for.  Finally, the 2 gay white dudes get this little black girl on the "black market".

The little black girl is about 7 and they have her playing mute.  She doesn't want to talk or doesn't know how to talk.  You get all kinds of little questionable jokes about that in itself.  So the little black girl is living with these 2 gay white males and these dudes are having loud gay sex with her in the room.  I was hella close to skipping this short but I was already in angry black man mode with the depiction so I was going to see where they were going with this so fast forward would do here and there.  Now the 2 gays go showing of their newly adopted "pet nigga" to another gay couple who also adopted.  They make a slick ass joke when they see the other gay couples adopted girl who was Asian and who was mutil-lingual.

So this shit comes to ahead when they 2 gay white dudes throw a party for this mute black girl they adopted.  At the party a little white girl sees a possum climbing up a tree and says something to the like of "Oh look mommy a possum isn't it cute".  At that very moment the distant mute little black girl goes into her instinctive tribal mode and rushes to the nearest Spear and chucks that at the possum to kill it.  Yeah, a mute spearchucker is what they got when they were just trying to adopt.  

This shit end when they end up dropping her off in the middle of the woods with a bag and some more shit.  I guess they felt she would feel more at home their.  The cut the scene and the 2 gays have a dog and now they are satisfied with that void filled.  I guess a pet dog is better than a pet nigga in this short.


So that was enough.  Im not in movie enjoying mode anymore. But I'm going to watch this to see what Zoe Saldana does as she is the star name on this movie package.  Well I get to her story and this is how it begins, with this image...

Okay so on the surface what do we have here.  A white hand holding a black woman down by her head.   Well it goes a bit further as the owner of that white hand is raping her.  He is white but he is wearing a mask.  He finishes and leaves his wallet in the house during his raping fiasco.  Zoe's character doesn't even call the cops after the incident(I figured it was shock or whatever benefit of the doubt).  But she starts cleaning and then spots the wallet under the couch.  Now she knows who raped her and I'm thinking shes gonna do some gruesome fucked up Hostel type.  But she goes on about her business in regular fashion. 

At this moment I'm getting mentally prepared to see some cold rape revenge shit like The Last House on the Left.  So she still doesn't report this dude to the police.  She stalks this dude and finds out where he lives and works.  Zoe's character goes to the rapist's job and doesn't confront him.  She does some weird shit and invites this dude on a date.  I'm taken back again,  okay maybe she is playing nice and is going to switch it up.  Nope, she goes on a date and carries on like the dude she knows raped her is courting her, and she is overly loquacious.  


The date ends up at her house.  The same house where she was raped by this white dude.  Raping white guy was reluctant to go back to her house thinking it was a set up and so did I, but it wasn't.  She lured him there by saying that is where his wallet and she was going to return it.  So now he is back in the house and gets mad at the act he thinks is going on because the shit is strange.  He raped you in your house with a mask on, he brought his wallet like a dumbass, lost his wallet in your house like a dumbass, you find him giving the appearance of wanting to return his wallet, get him to go on a date by saying you were going to return his wallet, say you forgot the wallet back at your house, convince him there isn't a hellacious revenge group back at your house, get to your house and you want to play games with him (uno, scrabble and shit) like he legitimately macked you up when he did the complete opposite of macking you up.  WTF is wrong with this bitch?(what Im thinking)

Well Zoe has a mask and wants this white dude to do it again??  What she loved the raping that much to have that scenario played out again?


I take it niggas love being mistreated by whites though and some black women enjoy being raped by white dudes.

HANNA

We have another one to add to vast super white girl genre of movies.


This one was pretty decent though.  It was done in a believable manner.  You have Hanna, the super white girl who weighs under 120lbs soaking wet with a cover, who is raised in a cold harsh climate where she is taught to survive by her father.  Hanna starts off slipping a bit after she is killing an animal but fails to keep aware of her surroundings when good old dad sneaks up on her and her kill and points a gun to her head and says "you're dead".  What would life be like without a father to tell you in a corrective fashion you're dead when caught slipping?


Hanna and her father in the middle of an iceland out in wherever in the fuck remote nowhere.  Hanna's skills are honed under his tutelage.  Rightfully so as he is/was a top agent of a US agency that breeds killers, literally.  So daddy brings her to decent standards amongst the worlds top killers.  She steps out on the world stage and test her skill as she wants to venture out of this iceland by way of pressing a GPS device that turns the dogs on her and good ole dad. 


On the run this little bitch goes into a US agency looking for the head of the agency that had to do with the killing of her mother.  She kills a stand in and a few highly trained weak ass guards. She goes free and is on the run to find her dad at a previously determined rendezvous point.


Yadayadaya she goes on to find her father and kills hella people on the way and finds out something about herself she didn't know. What you ask?  I could spoil it for you but fuck that the movie was cool enough to be watched.


My Rating
4/5 Decent super white girl flick

INSIDIOUS

It's Not The House That's Haunted!

I rarely fuck with horror movies nowadays because shit be hella corny to me.  I can say this one was done right.   I haven't seen a good horror movie like this one in a minute.  I can give it the best horror flick in the past 5 years off back.  Most horror is on some gory gruesome looking killer doing vicious killing with an unbelievable tracking skill.  Not really a big fan of that unless there is something special there.  


This started off in typical fashion with a not so typical response.  A white family moved into a new house.  It started off slowly then there young boy had a fall in the attic playing around.  The boy goes into a coma and that's when shit starts going crazy in the house.  The house starts showing sign of being haunted.  The typical response for a white family in these movies is to try and stay in the house and go to war with the haunting entity.  Well they weren't that dumb.  They bounced.


I ain't going to spoil it.  It will be scary to many.   Im a different breed but I will grade this objectively.  I recognize the quality here and its good.


My Rating for a good horror film in an age starving for fright.
4.25-4.5 / 5

GOEMON

This was some epic shit right here!!


Shit like this here is why I fucks with asian movies.


You have a semi-character driven movie based on this dope ass thief named Goemon but on some Robin Hood type shit.  Jacking rich folks for their shit and giving it to the poor is something he does as a hobby.  On top of being a dope ass thief Goemon is a low key dope ass ninja.  He is just an all around dope character doing the typical incredible unbelievable shit these asian movies are famous for.  Extra'd out jumps and leaps, fast ass reflexes, and the incredible 1 vs 2000 ass whoopings.  And all that is executed well.


The visuals on this movie, as well as the story, are what make this one nice.  I want to say it looks like a cartoon/comic book motion picture.  A little bit like Sin City and 300 with the CGI sets and whatnot.  I liked it better than 300 I wouldn't put it above Sin City but it's dope in its own right like Sin City is.  Its real colorful but not over the top and it serves the movie well. 

The whole ensemble was gelling.  I thought it was dope with the all around look, story, acting, and the vibe of it.


My Rating:
5 / 5   Check it out from netflix or wherever if you find it.

The Way Back

Not action packed but decent.

This is more the human will type of movie.   A guy goes to a prison camp in around the time of Communist Russia after he gets sentenced to 20 years for treason or espionage(that's spying for some of u ignants out there).  In America, I believe that is punishable by death, treason is.  But this movie somehow manages to make the Russians look bad for sending this dude to jail.


Once in this cold ass jail the main dude get approached by a co-prisoner and they end up chopping it up about an escape.  While dude who came up with the idea was a bitch ass dude and wasn't really with it other prisoners were down.  So they escape from this prison in the middle of no where.  The fucked up thing is it's winter in already cold ass Russia.  Once anyone escape the townspeople will kill anyone as their will be a bounty place on the heads of any escapee so they can't go to town.  

So what now?  They escape and set of on a journey for thousands of miles in search of India or China for safe haven away from those evil Russian communists.   Some die and some live onthis journey.  In typical fashion, of these types of movies, there are times where the journey seems impossible.   Some want to quit.  Some are stronger than others.  Some die and say leave me and then you get the "No I'm not leaving you" guy trying to inspire the giver upper.  Blah blah blah and they make it.


My Rating 
3.5 / 5

Hobo With A Shotgun!

This movie is CRAY-N'DA-MUTHAFUCK-ZEE!!!

No its not a joke.  In the tradition of Grindhouse film Planet Terror this is a dope ass B movie.  As Samuel Jackson would say "this some repugnant shit".   

Crass, vulgar, distasteful but I couldn't turn away.  It is interesting and unpredictable.  A hobo is bum for those who don't hear that word a lot.  Well that bum has a shotgun and is tired of the bullshit in his town.   The town he stays in is wild'r than a muthafucka.  Im talking cocaine, murders, hookers, pedophile Santa Clauses, exploitative camera men, gangsters, crooked cops, tiddies and some mo shit and all of it is over sensationalized.


This bum "Hobo" is sick of all the shit he is witnessing in a town he arrived at by way of a train.  This town is off the ashtray.  Hobo gets a shotgun and starts killing random bad muthafuckas like he is some kinda virus sweeper.  It all lead up to the head gangster in the town.  This shit is straight ahead with no brakes it just gets blowed'r blowed'r wtihout any break in the shit that keeps coming at you.

It has some funny cheesy ass lines in it that are genuine as is this movie which makes it watchable.

The Drake(the town Gangster) in a conversation giving his favorite son advice on his gangsterism and cheer up after an asswhooping from the Hobo:

The Drake:  Dont worry son everybody gets knocked out once in a while.
Son:  Really?  Have you ever been knocked out?
The Drake:  FUUUCK NO! Im the Drake who's gonna fuck with me?!!(laughs)
......
The Drake: I can give you one sweet morsel of advice.  When life gives you razor blades.  You make a baseball bat covered in razor blades.

I mean this movie is a dope wack movie.  Dope wackness works best when it is done on purpose and this is top shelf dope wackness.

This isn't for those with weak stomachs though.  Its bloody and wild so I wouldn't watch this with Miss Prissy.  

Exceptional Shit!


My Rating
4 - 4.25 /  5

The Rite

Generic!

I wasn't really feeling this one here.  Its one of those exorcist horror movies.  Anthony Hopkins plays a priest, Father Lucas Trevant, with "unorthodox" methods in performing exorcisms who takes in a young man, Michael Kovak, as a favor for one of his fellow booty bandits.  Michael isn't a kid he is an adult with his own beliefs and is a skeptic/athiest.   He doesn't believe in exorcisms.  He write them off as bullshit.

Father Lucas takes him in and shows him the exorcist world.  He shows him a weird looking pregnant chick who is suppose to be possessed by a demon.  The demon makes this pregnant chick an even bigger weirdo.  She scratches chairs and walls, points at people, has patches of hair missing, and occasionally speaks in a deep man/demon voice.  Michael gives a shit about any of these antics and so did I.

Michael doesn't believe in the devil or god he wants "proof".  Father Lucas keeps trying to sell him the idea and eventually wins him over after unfortunate events take place.  The unfortunate event being Father Lucas gets possessed by the "devil". Now Michael feels it is no bullshit and the possessions are real.  Yadadadaya blah blah blah.  And its over.

If you believe in the demon possessing people this might be scary if you are watching this at night or alone.

My Rating"
3/5   

I gotta say that Anthony Hopkins actually looks crazy.  I can see why he got that Lechter role dude he has a creepy guy swag about him that is str8 weirdo!

CENTURION

A bloody tale of Rome in it's heyday of conquering.

This one is about a set of crips and bloods who are beefing about how far their hood will stretch.  The Ancient Crips want a lucrative spot the is inhabited by the Ancient Bloods that is in or around modern day England but around the medieval times.  Well the bloods don't want to leave seeing how the crips have been trying to get the spot because of the dope game profits and bitches.  The main crip named Titus is a real OG and aint about taking no shit at all and he is fully wit the bizness.  He tries to lean on these bloods and is forced by his OG to bring in a bitch who used to be down with the bloods but claims not to fuck with them anymore.

Okay it not about bloods and crips but it damn near on the same shit.  Take out of the bloods and crips mentioned above a put the Romans in the spot of crips and the Picts in the spot of the bloods.  The Romans were being dicks and kept trying to move in on the Picts land.  The Picts weren't no bitches though.  They fought the Romans to a stalemate that lasted for years with no end in sight.

How might this situation being rectified?  A perfectly planted sour bitch amongst the Romans.  Some mute chick with a cut out tongue is taken under the wing of a Roman boss and placed on the team of his most highly decorated General as a scout for finding out where the Picts are in their land, as this bitch "used to be" down with em'.  Well, needless to say the bitch set the army up and the majority of the Romans got merked.  That happens among the crips and bloods.  But the serving that took place was hella bloody and cold.  Fireballs, swords, and just old fashioned ass whooping took place.  It was a perfectly executed set up and the Pict bitch Etain was completely responsible.

In the end there was a pile of carcasses but not everyone in that pile was dead.  One of the dudes in there luckily just got a quick fuck up and was forgot about in the all the commotion.  He later emerged from the death pile after the massacre took place.  He was met by about 3-4 of his comrades and they were looking for their General.  The Picts took his ass with them and this is where the movie gets on some cat and mouse shit as the remaining survivors courageously follow the Picts to get their General from under the Picts captivity.

My Rating:

3.25/ 5  

Decent bloody movie with a few good underlying morals to the story.  One being don't let random bitches whom you know nothing about lead you into uncharted land.  She could be setting your ass up!

THE LICOLN LAWYER

A GOOD HUSTLER MOVIE!

I was glad to have been watching this when I was watching this.  Thats how movies are suppose to be.
  
Most movies have to show you why a character is dope this one delivers it with good performances by some pretty decent actors and it is believable.   You get drawn in early and want this guy to come out victorious in whatever he is gonna involve himself in.


Matthew McConaughey plays a dope lawyer named Mick Haller in this one.   Mick rolls around in a old clean ass Lincoln with a driver.  Thats his office.  He is a hustler on the go.  He's got workers and if you don't work for him he'll get you to, if need be.  He has connects in the right side of law and him being a dope lawyer affords him connects on the wrong side of the law.  Dude is out for his paper in this one and shows what a dope lawyer is about, getting the job done.


Early on in this movie he gets put on a potential client.  A homie of Mick (John Leguizamo-Benny Blanco from the Bronx) puts him on to some money, a rich kid got himself into some bullshit and needed some assistance from a professional who cleans up bullshit.  This case is what makes this movie.


Some whore got beat up and they think this rich kid did it.  He was there on the scene, he had blood on his left hand,  the whore had a beat up right side of her face, a knife was there as well with blood on it, pretty clear cut case.  Not when you got a dope lawyer on your team and Mick is that dude.  Mick is in for a little more than he expected when taking this case on though.


There are some good twists in this one and none throw the movie off.  It keeps you interested.  Good overall all around show.


My Rating:
4.5 / 5                   I liked this one.  Solid film

Kill The Irishman

Gangsta Shit!!!

Another one to add your collection if you are a gangsta flick connoisseur.

This one is based on the life of Danny Green an Irish gangsta in Cleveland trying to find his way.  Apparently Cleveland was mad active back in the 70's because of this dude.   He was an Italian Mafia affiliate and then their relationship went sour when Danny wasn't going to take any of their shit.

This is the type of gangsta movie those rappers and other low budget hood movies aspire to be.  Bitch slaps, car bombs, bullets in asses, whipped asses, italian racial slurs and other gangsta shit, this movie has got it all. Gangsta.  Watching it in the opening sequence when Danny gets the fuck outta an exploding car and gets up and say "Its gonna take more than a few fire crackers to kill Danny Green" will pull you in.  You almost died and you get up and talk some shit after such a close call.  Gangsta. Danny knew the mob wanted him dead what does he do?  He goes on television, does an interview and tells the public where he stays and where he works and if you're looking for him you know where to find him.  Gangsta.


What I liked about this one is Danny liked to give folks an old fashion ass whipping with his hands which now seems to be a lost art.  Guns and bombs are cool but this dude had that fighting Irish gene in him or something because he like to squab.


The cast is solid with a couple of acting veterans in this one.  The story is based on truth, which usually are very interesting, and that makes for a good movie.  The glorification of criminal is all there.   And lets not forget the bitch slaps which should be in the amount of at least good solid one in this genre.


My Rating:
4-4.25/5       Gangsta Gangsta

The Dilemma

Hollywood waists money like a muthafucka.


Move on folks nothing to see here.

Battle: Los Angeles

Okay so this is another alien movie.   Its not your typical alien movie its more like a war movie but the enemy is the aliens. 


LA gets fucked up.  You have your typical inspirational speech in the time of crisis with no sign of victory.  They figure out what the aliens are there for, how to kill the aliens, and they smash the mothership.




Typical movie.  Nothing jumps out about this one except the sounds and quality of them.  They have a few actors and actresses that are recognizable in this one.  None of the performances f'd this one up but nothing grabbed me either.








Because I am a bit inquisitive I know where the idea of this came from. 

Apparently, according to newspaper articles, back in 1942 there was an air invasion in Santa Monica and some shit popped up that didn't leave until it wanted to.  Thus we have this lackluster movie here.

My Rating:
2.5-3/5  I wasn't really feeling this shit.

Hall Pass

I laughed on this one.

This movie Hall Pass is about a few married guys and how get a "Hall Pass" from their wives for a week.  A "Hall Pass" for the unaware is like a permission slip from a wife to a husband (or vice versa for some dumb ass dudes) to go out, mack up, and wrap up some new ass.  The thing about it is these dudes are in their 40's and have been out of the game for years so they ain't really in tip top macking shape and are bound for some scrapes and just looking plain stupid.

 I got some good ass laughs out of this and I was glad to see the directors delivered on this.  The same dudes who made Kingpin and Something About Mary, the Farelly Brothers, put this one together solidly.  A functional cast for this movie and they even got Kelly Bundy in this one.


Solid comedy amongst the bullshit out there.

My Rating:
4.25/5

TWELVE

Lately I been seeing hella movie posters with this nigga 50 Cent on em'.  So I said fuck it! im going to see what this niggas movies are like.  Some have been trash ass. I aint gonna lie.  And its not because he can't act.  

50 is like the new Ice T but he isn't a bad actor as Ice was in the beginning of his career.  Ice was hustling the movie game and getting big bread for low budget ass movies who used his face for marketing.  50 is on that route as of lately but he aint fucking up scenes, at least not for me he isn't.  You may hate the dude because you think he is an asshole but I always seen him as a character.  Now he is playing characters in movies, for the bread.  Can't hate that.

This movie is a mixture of a bunch of overly privileged white teenagers doing nothing but enjoying the fruits of their status as children of rich folks.  It focuses on a drug dealer, White Mike, who lost his mother to cancer.  His father coincidentally lost his restaurant taking care of the hospital bills that accumulated while she was dying with cancer.   So White Mike took to dealing drugs (Weed, not any major shit like cocaine) to white privileged kids he once went to school and rubbed shoulders with.  White Mike buys his drugs from the only nigga in the movie, 50 Cent. Yes, 50 plays the dope dealers supplier, a big drug dealer.  

50 sells a designer drug called 12 that he turn one of the little high society white girls out with.  The movie isn't focused so much on this drug called  12 as it is with life choices and the connection that everybody has with someone through friends, associates, or family.  

It was busy enough to keep my attention.  None of the acting threw me off.  The have a narrator which is a bit cliche for low budget types for me but it worked.  Drunk ass Kiefer Sutherland played the narrator so it was a decent on that end.  Cool all around nothing spectacular though.

My Rating
3.25/5

CONSINSUAL - Can a man rape his wfe?

This movie is a bit blowed and has a decent amount of drama.

Can you rape your wife?  Really?   Her pussy is you now your pussy once the ring goes on the finger, right?


My position on it is if you can take the pussy then yes you can rape your wife.  Cus that is what rape is isn't it?! Taking the pussy. Receiving is the only way to go fellas, but I digress.


The movie starts off with a brotha named Terrence in a cool grown folks jazz type club who spots a sista, Angelica, chilling by herself.  So he starts macking and "the next thing I know " he ends up getting ready for the takedown at the crib (They are actually married and role playing. He didn't overwhelm this breezie with game and she wasnt out stanking it up that night, but I moving on).  Back to almost getting that ass.  Its about to pop off and then... bump bump bump... a noise from from upstairs.  What is that?  A burglar muthafucka! Because you and the bitch are supposed to be the only ones there.


Well this situation is when the two totally different personality types come into play.  This bitch Angelica is a live bitch.  Sassy, combative, bullheaded, independent, unmanageable, overly strong, unruly- all the things a black man wants in a women LMAO.  Terrence is a laid back nice brotha who turns out to be quite the simp as the movie progressed, he seems like a white or asian girl would have suited him much better over this chick (dont scrunch ya face up either, just talking shit).  Angelica wants to see what the noise is.  Terrence wants to bounce and call the police and let them handle it. 


Well Angelica heads up stairs despite Terrence being in the process exiting the building.  she goes up stairs the burglar grabs her and takes her with Terrence about 15 feet away watching.  He doesn't chase this masked dude to get his wife back.  The burglar drops her and comes at Terrence.  Angelica hits him in the head with a vase and dude stumbles past Terrence who doesn't bank this nigga or nothing. 


Well thats it Terrence is officially a bitch ass nigga in Angelica's eyes and there aint no coming back from that, it a wrap.  Or is it?  This aint the type of chick ou let get the upper hand in the relationship.  She bounces on him one night to go see a Ex for a "business meeting" at night to sell her and Terrence's business which he doesn't want to sell.  She gets pretty and sprays the smell good on her shoulder, wrists, and between the legs all in front of this nigga Terrence and tells him fuck your dinner you just made Im going out.  What does this nigga do?  He lets her and then stalks this bitch and her ex in the club. 


While stalking her sister Jasmine who coincidentally is at the club. She sees whats happening and stops Terrence from whipping out the jammy and flat blasting both their asses.  But he didn't have on a $3700 linx coat.  Jasmine then gives this nigga a pointer saying Angelica needs to be given the idea that he is a strong man and powerful.   "You need to take it" is this bitches advice.  Yes that right the bitch said he should rape her and she would like it.


WTF.  I know. I know.  The movie progresses this bitch Angelica doesn't get anymore likable.  The actress did a great job portraying a bitch.  The actor playing Terrence played a good simp, if you can do that.  The movie isn't as bad as some reviews. Black women will like this shit.  I found it entertaining for a low budget movie which means the story and script have to be decent.  The ending was aight.


I don't want to tell the rest but it doesn't get any cornier.  Well I'll say I would watch this over a Tyler Perry Madea movie.  Its a bit wordy (like this review) but so the fuck what.  I like dialogue thats decent in my movies.  The man was a bit too simpish for my liking but it ended well so not many complaints on this end.


My Review
3/5

Rabbit Hole

Its a good one.  Recommended for females due to an emotional type vibe.


This movie is really some sad shit but it doesn't leave you feeling down after watching.  I'm not going to lie it was a bit slower for my taste and I had a hard time sitting through it because of my up mood.  Maybe it was the sad tone of it and I don't really be feeling like sitting through some depressing shit but a satisfying watch once I completed it. 

Not that its really sad in the sense you witness some really fucked up shit to someone you became attached to in the movie like a Ricky in Boys in the Hood.  The sad shit already took place and you see the aftermath which is still a shitty vibe, but the delivery eases that.


Becca (Nicole Kidman) and Howie (Aaron Eckhart) are a married couple trying to cope with the premature loss of their son who died in car accident.  Now that is a bit of a spoiler given the way this movie is told but you should be able to figure that out in the first 10 -15 minutes because of the 'something ain't right' vibe that is given.  They are changed indefinitely from this dramatic occurrence and they are trying to salvage their relationship.  They go on the verge of just saying "fuck it then" because counseling among other shit wasn't the way to go for them.


The movie has a great story and is delivered in masterful way.  The performances are on point,  Kidman drops the best performance I ever seen her give and everyone else is right in line. The story is not traditional you find out shit as the movie progresses and you have to put the pieces together. The director did some good work on this one.  

The character progression is good.  The characters in general are realistic, believable, and nothing comes of as corny.  There is even a point in this one where Becca (Kidman), doing what whites have been known to do, interrupted another lady parenting her child in the Supermarket.  A checking and a reaction came about from that scene which is the most live in the movie.


I think this is good but ultimately a chick flick.  I can see women watching this shit on lifetime and getting into it with some tears.


My Rating
4/5

Legacy

This was a trash ass movie.


I cant put my finger quite on the button if it was due to the script or the director but it was weak.  I wanted to see this cause it had my nigga Stringer Bell in it.  He did his job but something about this movie just wasn't hitting the mark.

Elba has weird psychological trip he is going through.  This involves flashbacks and they go back on the story.  They bring people in and later on you find that these niggas died earlier.  So what is this nigga imagining shit?  Come to find out he was on some post traumatic stress shit.  I want to say this is in a way like The Black Swan just no where near as intriguing and understanding.  

 Elba's character is an ex-marine turned hit squad member who's brother is a top senator in the US.  He gets set up and blah blah blah...  It lost my interest.  I sat through this one with about one corny moment away from ejecting it that never came.  I think the acting was what kept it in the dvd player.  

The acting was cool but this shit was just weak overall.


My Rating;
2/5

Trouble Man

THOBACK!!

While I'm on topic of 70's movies I get on one of my favorites from the era of perfect afros.


Trouble Man is a movie I threw in my queue in no particular hurry to get it but when it came through I was thoroughly satisfied and lightweight upset I never heard of from any of my folks.  On some Arsenio "how come you didn't tell me the cheese was this good" type shit.


I heard of Shaft alot, and I threw that in my queue too, Netflix refers other similar movies once you get something in a particular genre, I watched Shaft and Mr. T was cooler than that dude.  I don't know why this dude ain't get that pub like Shaft or Superfly but T was cooler than both of them niggas, in my opinion.  And they had Marvin Gaye on the soundtrack and err'thang.

The movie starts of with this brotha telling one of ladies some slick shit.


One of Mr. T's chicks:  When am I gonna see you again, T?
   Mr T standing by the edge of the pool straightening out his suit's collar and sleeves
Mr. T :  Im gonna have to think about that baby.
   Mr T bounces.
Scene ends.


So from the gate, I'm like 'okay, I'm watching a playa movie because she was dealing with a playa who told her ass some playa shit and bounced.  Let me see what this old nigga is about.  As the movie progressed T's character started aggrandize and he just came off as the epitome of a dope nigga.  I mean he was That Nigga in this movie.

Hollywood must have outlawed having niggas come off this dope in the movies these days because it might become contagious in urban society.  This nigga didn't deal dope.  Didn't like the police.  Talked shit to the police.  Hustled hustlers.  Had women.  Had guap. Was sharp for 70's nigga. Changed 2 times a day.  Regular folks and gangsters came to this dude for help.  He was just the ultimate brotha and played that role to a T. 


This is like one of my favorite character movies if not my favorite character movie.  It progressed as movies do and nothing spectacular storyline wise occurred just a lot of coolness on T's part and enjoyability.  You're gonna get some laughs out of this one too, it's out of the 70's, but that is at its bare minimum.


My rating:
5/5 -    T  gets 2 points off of keeping it oh so playa alone.  The authenticity he exuded in this role could not be exhibited by anything less than a real muthafucka.  You can't fake tha bravado, you gotta have it in you.

SWITCHBLADE SISTERS

THOBACK!!

Switchblade Sisters (aka The Jezebels)


Every once in a while I like to get a laugh and watch old movies (1970's and earlier).  Not all old movies are corny but I get a good laugh out of each one.  Something about the overly seriousness behind a chessy ass line in that era that hits my stomach hard with a humor punch.
.
I heard of this one in a song and checked it out because the name sounded cool.  After reading up a bit on it it turns out it's what some call a "cult classic".  A cult classic is one of those movies that have a specific set of fans (i.e. Cheech and Chong movies, Ferris Bueler's Day Off type of 'ish, The Warriors,).  The movie may not have the best type of plot/story but the shit is interesting and liked by a large enough following.  So I went on ahead and put it in the queue.


Its about a gang of broads, the Dagger Debs,  who are like the first ladies to a gang of dudes, the Silver Daggers.  All these bitches carry switchblades and they are white girl wit it.  They all hit up a burger spot and punk some folks off a table.  One girl ain't moving, Maggie.  Some bitch named Patch(because this broad wears an eyepatch) is pressing the issue.  Maggie throws pepper in that bitch Patch's good eye then wraps her jacket around her hand, has a blade in her opposite hand and proceeds to get into the old school classic "come oooooonnnn" stance.  I thought that shit was funny.  Apparently, so did the leader Lace, so she didn't give the call to fuck her up like her group was on standby for the call.  I recently came to the belief this is where director Quentin Tarantino came up with that idea in Kill Bill when Kiddo plucked that other bitches eyeball out given this is one of his favorites.  It was fucked up both times, but funny both times.


As it progresses of course Maggie gets put on with the Dagger Deb's and is in good graces with the leader but that Patch bitch still doesn't like her ass for that pepper trick.  And that's a good reason.  If I had only one eye don't throw water near my face and not expect an one-eyed Jack ass whooping coming your way, don't throw with two good ones, but pepper is an automatic fuck up.  Patch didn't get to see that fuck up come to fruition so she just ain't like Maggie.  Patch further done the line throws salt on Maggie by telling the leader she is sleeping with her man the leader of the Silver Daggers.


yadadadadaya.......


It leads to a silhouette'd knife fight and murder

And voila, you have that 70's shit (pictured above).  Its one of those so bad its kinda good movies.


This movie has some raw parts to it that wouldn't make its way to the theaters now.  It even had some stereotypical militant 70's blacks in it who were all about sticking it to the capitalists pigs.  I enjoyed this shit.  70's movies are funny as shit to me.  This is when dudes had tight jeans because that was the only shit on sell.  They didn't go looking for em. Mandatory vs. Preference. My how we have progressed as a society.




My Rating
3/5

LIMITLESS

Its dope.  

This one sounded like it could be a good movie and built up the anticipation enough with the trailers and delivered.  

The story goes as this guy Eddie Morra who is a loser.  Looks like a bum, behind on his rent, his bitch left him, he didn't have any income or any future hope to fix that, his game was shitty, just overall at the bottom of his life .  Then along comes a figure who was in and out this movie quickly. An old relative of his ex-wife his ex-brother in law.  Dude looks like a sleeze ball with loot and Eddie knew dude was a sleeze ball.  This ex-brother in law plays the friendly route like a true dealer and puts ol' Eddie up on the new shit.  A designer drug called MDT.  First one is always free.  You'll be back nigga.  Oh, take this card and keep in touch.


Now MDT is some real fly shit.  Its designed to stimulate the brain's receptors to make the user a an extremely enhanced version of themself.  Tighter mentally and verbally Eddie can game any breezee, connect the dots in his once scattered memory, figure out advanced mathematical equations, come up with complex formulas in dealing with the stock markets, and finish a book he had writers block on in one day, and a bunch of mo shit.  He learned of these abilities after he macked up the landlord's wife while halting her bitching about the rent and focused on what she was really unhappy about which he observed in this beezies presence.  He took her down and helped her with her homework.  So dudes game is on point all because of MDT. It enhances the users own abilities by say 100 percent given Eddie's condition before taking that shit.


So his bro-in law has the connect but has problems.  Thoughtfully he tried not to involve Eddie with that shit before his demise.  He gets murked and Eddie inherits some of his ex-bro in law's shit following his demise, some cash, a book, and the MDT stash.  That stash is upwards of 150 pills in a baggie so he was grateful.  He starts taking those pills daily and with the help of some of his ex-bro guap Eddie's game starts bubbling.  Money starts coming in, he gets fly, bitches start liking him, people generally want to fuck with this dude because he is brilliant, while on MDT.


Eddie's begins to feel this drug maybe attracting negative elements and it does.  People are watching and following this dude.  And on top of that he is taking some shit made in a lab so he begins to learn about side effects.  I would say it's like any drug's side effects from the junkies I seen.  Your gonna lose something teeth, looks, or your life.  So Eddie starts to weigh his new artificial powers against the consequences of his new habit and he has a few examples of former users of the drug to help any of his decisions. 

The thing about this movie is you wonder how it will end.  If he runs out of those pills he runs out of game and Eddie knew that.  How will he maintain the heights he reached via MDT.  Will he completely fall off, die, find another dealer?  Watch it your damn self because I ain't telling you shit!


All in all this is one of the best movies of the year.  I wasn't disappointed at all in this one.  The story worked well and I was cool with the ending. I liked it.


My Rating:
4-4.5/5

On a similar note, I recently had a conversation with a young lady about this.  Being on point comes from within yourself.  Outside influences may assist in you getting sharper but ultimately you have to get you together by knowing yourself to reach your full potential.  Fucking with dope isn't the answer.  You may open new avenues in your mind but those avenues can be reached without the drugs if you work on it.  I once heard if you are bored then you aren't using your mind.  I felt that shit when I read it because I entertain myself with my thoughts daily be they humorous or noteworthy.


I got quote for your ass too


"Inside a mine is where gold is found."
Afrikan proverb
 

Mesrine: Killer Instinct

Un film de gangster (A gangster movie)


This is a biopic on Jacques Mesrine a french gangster who made public enemy number 1, in France, in his heyday.   Never heard of this dude before but he's legit.  

This is a gangster movie where the bad guy doesn't die or go to jail in the end.  At least not in this movie, which is part1.  He has been called the french John Dillinger by some.  Mesrine was thieving conniving, murderous motherfucker.  One scene where Jacques and his homie, who put him on, were robbing a house and the owners came.   


My favorite scene:  

It was an old couple.  They came in on these dudes who crow barred the door open and were in the process of stealing gold, guns, and some mo shit.  

A thief will kill when they think they are about to get caught.  In the middle of a robbery  Jacques homie thought they were done for and I took it he was about to start busting his heat and/or beating this old couple to death. Jacques was cool headed and a quick thinker.  They weren't dressed like thieves they were actually business casual.   Once the couple came in the door they seen the Jacques by their safe with a bag, unbeknownst to them to be full of their shit.  They were shocked and the window of opportunity was only open for a few seconds..  Jacques told them he was the police, a detective a that, and they had just been robbed.  His partner came down with a bag, full of their shit as well.  Jacques asked him if he collected all the evidence and fingerprints and if he was ready.  His partner said yes and Jacques bounced with their shit right in front of them and told them to call the such and such precinct tomorrow after they went over all the evidence and walked out with their shit in front of them.  I though that was a player move on the fly.


Homie was robbing banks, killing, macking new breezies up in his travels.  Jacques went to prison got treated fucked up in their.  He broke out of prison.  Tried to come back a help his partners who helped him break out.  He was a raw frenchman.

Oh yeah its subtitled and in French.  There was a dubbed in english version on the disc, but I only like watching my karate flicks like that and didn't want it to lose its essence.  Good movie though


My rating
4/5

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE

STR8 BULLSHIT!


Again, I must warn you, I may be bias to the Super White Girl genre movie that this movie fits in but this is wack.  I didn't really like the other ones but they were decent.  This one seemed to be half assed to me.  Like this shit coulda went straight to Syfy channel special movie of the week or something similar.


They are taking this 3D shit to far like that famous played out Matrix camera trick.  Okay,  I admit its dope to see but don't have a week ass verse and end it with a dope punchline and expect me to be like "that's tight".


The story is regular as fuck.   Zombies are taking over. Okay. We gotta save these folks over here.  Okay okay I get it shits fucked up and the day needs to be saved.  What fucks this up for me is the same thing that fucks up all Super White Girl movies for me.  THE BULLSHIT!  I don't know the exact weight on the lead but she isn't more than 115 pounds after eating a #1 from McDonald's and just coming out of a pool with clothes on.   I don't care what special serum this bitch was given I'm not buying this little white girl beating up a 10 foot tall 450 lb beast wielding a hammer that belong on cables on a demolition site.  


And then there's this nigga

He can dodge bullets but not the infamous white boy rush. Really?  You can see 9mm bullets coming but not the angry white boy charging you from 15 feet away. 
Disclaimer:  I may be underestimating the white boy rush.



All in all this is the worst of the Resident Evil franchise in my book.  They don't look like they plan on stopping either.
My Rating
1/5

For Colored Girls

Finally got around to it.

On the fly review Im still watching it


I like to support blacks but goddamn.  Im an hour into this shit and it is without the blow'dest shit I have seen in the last 12 months of my life.  This nigga Tyler Perry has a knack for making some over the top black soap opera shit.


This is the most concentrated niggas-aint-shit-promotion that has been put out, in the last decade, IMO.  Not familiar with where this came from, maybe a play or a perhaps a book(not googling the shit either), but this is crazy.  I don't know where to begin on the craziness.  You got alcoholic wifebeaters, downlow niggas, niggas stealing money from they wives, baby killing niggas, rapists, you think of some negative shit and it might be the next character introduced.


All the women are having or have had major issues with these dudes so far and I am only an hour into the movie

.....to be continued

Continued...

Okay so I finished this movie and he didn't let up with the drama.  I can say that there is one brotha in this movie who didn't have a shady character, the character played by Hill Harper.  Although I was suspecting Hill's character to put up with an illegitimate child by white woman at any time given the direction of this movie. To Tyler's credit this movied took a turn from the normal Tyler Perry styled- bad dark skinned black guy vs. the good wholesome savior light skinned black guy- that is throughout the majority of Tyler's movies.  All the brothas, light and dark, except one, were on some shady shit.  

He comes with the drama on this one.  Like a soap opera and I know that this is, like the title, geared towards (colored) girls.  Women will accept this a lot more than men will.  A lot of the shit I seen in this one had me like "come on nigga".  To put it in a nutshell, I would say you would have to have sat in group rehabilitation meetings for batter women for about a year to run into the shit that is going on with female characters in this movie.  But magically all these women were going through it concurrently and they were all connected in some way.

Not necessarily the men.  Women will be into this one its more focused on issues black women have with their relationship(s) with black men.  I found most of the men characters to be extra'd out like a maf**ka.  About  4 "come on nigga"'s come to mind throughout this movie.


On a brighter side, the acting was on point nothing wrong with the performances in this one.  I think all the women in this one were good in their roles.  Tyler does employ a lot of black talent that seemingly get shelved and/or forgotten about.  That is one thing I love about what he does.   


My favorite of his movies would be Daddy's Girls with Idris Elba.  But this shit... its not it.  The fix for black male negativity should be straight for about 2 years for him after this one.  None of the brothas he puts on for the next 2 years of movie making should have a cough, scuffed sneaker, wrinkle in a shirt, food particle left in teeth, let alone any character flaws in any of his movies for the next 2 years behind this one.

My Rating
2.75/5  The culmination of drama and too many fucked up black male characters shot this one for me, but good acting nonetheless.

As it has been said before "Images Shape Your Reality"

Cyrus

I wasn't feeling this one!

Maybe because I felt it was going to be a good ass comedy. All the ingredients were right for this one 2 of the top Judd Apatow players  John C. Reilly, Jonah Hill, and they even found Marisa Tomei. With the track record of Reilly and Hill I thought this was going to be one of those sleeper comedies but something just didn't work out right.  I feel it was the directors fault.


John (Reilly's character) meets Molly (Tomei's character) at a party his ex-wife told him to go to after she caught him masturbating.  John gets with Molly and she has a bit of a secret.  Secret comes out and its her son Cyrus (Hill's character) living at home with her.  He has attachment issues and end up attempting to sabotage their relationship.


All in all I wasn't feeling the movie.  Funny parts here and there but its better shit out there.  You can go back and see Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story with John Reilly that was funny and a sleeper. 


My Rating 
2.5/5  it wasn't it.

Mr. Brooks

OH WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE

 Something like a KO punch that snuck past the guard.  That low key spot that doesn't have the biggest crowds but is always poppin.  The seemingly regular breezee who revealed a bad ass body once she got undressed.  

Yeah I liked this one! Okay so I just seen this one.  It came out around 2007 and I don't remember hearing shit about it.  I threw it in the queue, got it, popped it in, and it had me from the gate. 


The breakdown on it goes as a regular guy, no not really regular, let me say.....a man who you wouldn't suspect of doing the shit he does.  Mr Brooks is a highly suscessful businessman and you learn that the first 5 mins into it once he gets a Man of the Year honor in his city .  You also learn that dude is "down low" nut job.  A crazy bastard.  Dude is a schizophrenic/psycho and doesn't show that side of him at all to his family or friends.  The only person who knows who fucking crazy he is Marshall.


You first see Marshall in the car when Mr. Brooks is in a conversation with his wife and BAM some dude is in the backseat.  Not knowing what the movie is about I'm hoping dude isn't going to kill or try to kill anybody because I would have wrote this movie off as bullshit because they shoulda seen this big dude in the backseat.  I didn't give a fuck what the conversation was about "Hey, big creepy nigga in the backseat lets call the cops and not get in the car" is what the scenario shoulda been had that been the case.  

Then Marshall and Mr. Brooks start talking. Mr Brooks' wife isn't in the conversation.  In fact, Mr. Brooks isn't even talking out loud.  This is a conversation he is having in his mind and Marshall is only in existence in Mr. Brooks' mind.

Okay so this niggas crazy. 


Moving on.  Mr. Brooks is a serial killer and Marshall is like that monkey on his back edging him to kill.  Marshall is like the devil and Mr. Brooks has to play himself and the angel to counter Marshall's sinisterosity (Don King moment).  Marshall is like those thirsty internet dudes all they want is ass, except all he wants is the next kill.  Mr Brooks goes to AA meeting to stifle this dude in his head.  Marshall is at the meeting with him talking shit because he doesn't want to be there.  He wants to go on the hunt with his host he's living in.


Like I said CRAZY but not stupid.  Mr Brooks and his alter ego/other personality Marshall and brilliant at what they do.  Something like a perfect tandem.  Whatever Mr Brooks isn't picking up on Marshall is on it.  But Mr. Brooks slips up and gets into a bit of a pickle with some newly acquired baggage and has to elude a little turmoil


I ain't giving up any more info. Wouldn't want to fuck this movie up for any potential viewers because I thought it was dope.  

Don't know why a sequel hasn't been made yet.  But the story would have to be right because the story here was on point.  Wouldn't want to rush that sequel and fuck up the essence on this one.
Good Story.  Good Acting.  Good Direction.


My Rating
5/5

The Next Three Days

Its a thriller.


This is a real touchy rubby dubby what would you do for love type movie.  


You have a couple Lara Brennan and John Brennan(Russel Crowe) doing what couples do.  One day the both of them are chilling at the house playing with their toddler son then you hear KNOCK KNOCK.  John gets the door and the next thing you know the police with their invasive asses bum rush the house and bump his broad up for murder. 


She goes to jail and the next thing you know you see him and his son who is at least 5 years older now going to visit her in prison.  So her ass got bumped up for murder and I think the bitch did it.  They showed a clip with her getting into it with her boss and the next thing you know the boss(a woman) catches an extinguisher to the head and shes outta there.  So her ass exhausted her appeals and isn't getting out.  Shits looking bleak.


Worry not, this is where shit gets interesting.  John who has an issue of letting Lara's ass go then hollas at some ex-prison escapee who gained fame from him circumventing skills.  So he gets some info out of dude(small appearance by Liam Neeson-Taken) for a price and he gets to thinking.  Thinking about what?  Well, breaking his wife outta prison.  Thats right he is going for the gusto.  

This dude starts plotting and planning and studying all types of shit and comes up with the master plan to break his broad outta prison.  Stupid and crazy as hell but dude actually feels it is absolutely necessary for him to free his wife from a life behind bars.  Ahhhhhh and that sweet.


Whats even more blowed is he actually does the shit.  It didn't go quite as smooth as the plan but he did it.  Now all he has to do is stay free and alive.

Replacing her ass would've been whole lot easier but wouldn't have made for an a interesting movie


My Rating 
3/5 ....Shit was disappointing and kinda weak

The Crazies

Its a good horror flick.


Cargo Plane with hazardous chemicals on board crashes in a small towns lake/water supply and turns town folk casually homicidal. Military find out the planes location and do a lock down on the town that doesn't go so well the first time.  The town rebelled and the military upped the ante on getting control of the situation.


Nothing spectacular on this one its just a solid piece.


My Rating
3.5/5

127 Hours

Good Movie.


This is based on a true story about a man who went on a hiking expedition in the middle of a desert that didn't go his way.  Aron played by James Franco(Spiderman, Pineapple Express) goes off into on an expedition and doesn't tell anybody homie just got up and bounced.  He met some young ladies while in this desert.  Became their escort in a way and took the girls off and got em to go swimming with him in dope pool of water that was in cut, literally. To get to this pool you have to do some Spiderman/Jackie Chan shimmying through a canyon and then drop about 40 feet to land in the pool beneath it.  They went swimming and later the girls were going to bounce and go home but they invited Aron to come to a party before they bounced.  He lightweight macked em up in his crazy white way.

He was feeling like a G.  He was gonna go knock out the rest of his expedition and go home.  At least that was the plan.  Homie got to heading back to camp took an adventurous, but totally fucked route.  While crawling, climbing, and jumping around a small canyon he jumped on something he thought was stable and it wasn't.  Now to illustrate the situation a bit better let me say he fucked up.  He landed on a rock and the rock fell.  He fell with the rock.  They both landed at the bottom of this canyon that was just about under 3ft wide and 60 ft deep.  The rock landed on his ass and trapped his arm. 


He couldn't move the rock which I would say weighed about 300 lbs. Yeah your fucked unless your MacGuyver homie.  Dude came to the realization that it was his ass in the canyon and starts thinking about how he didn't talk to his Mom when she called and all kinds of shit that happened in his life.  


Felling like it was his doom if he didn't get free he never stopped trying to get free.  Which was commendable and inspiring.  Im not telling the ending but I'll say it was a good movie.


My rating
4/5

SALT

BULLSHIT!


I didn't have shit to do when I watched this. I didn't  look forward to this and I didn't really want to see it.  I got to watching it and it was exactly what I though it would be.  A SUPER WHITE GIRL MOVIE.  The action was pretty good though I will say that.

Suspension of disbelief is not one of my best abilities.  I didn't do too good watching stupid ass cartoon where there is a one character chasing another and shit just never goes its way(i.e. roadrunner and coyote).  And I don't do well with Super white girl movies.  Something about a 100lb white girl whipping ass, doing spiderman stunts, and being indestructible is something that I right off as bullshit.  The upside is if it has an excellent script with dope dialogue or some other X factor I will allow it to win me over.  It didn't happen here.


Little frail looking African baby taking Angelina Jolie beating up grown ass highly trained and lethal men is not something Im accepting. I dont give a shit what you say.


This is something like that Resident Evil chick but just a regular old non genetically altered girl.  She is spy in this one, or a double agent or even a double double agent.  She manages to get away from the police and top trained CIA soldiers too many times in this movie.  She gets shot, jumps blindly on to moving trucks trailers on the freeway,  when she get tired of one trailer she leaps onto an adjacent trailer all while moving, this bitch can climb buildings, the bitch can leap from pillar to post in an elevator shaft all while without getting injured in the slightest.  Fuck that


My rating
3/5  - because it is decent but I ain't buying the super white girl bullshit.  

The Mechanic

Okay, about 2 months back I was watching an old ass Charles Bronson movie.  I was in the mood for cold hearted vicious murdering muthafucka main character type of movie.  The movie was made in the 70's and was a bit slow but  it was legitimately good.  Charles played a hit man which is called a mechanic(because he fixes problems).


In the middle of watching this movie I was wondering why Hollywood hadn't done a remake of this movie because the shit was dope.  Exactly 2 days later I catch the trailer for the remake on television.  I seen Jason Statham(of Snatch, Crank, Death Race) in it and it looked to have a bit more action than the original.  Of course that meant more explosions and adrenaline rushing music which made me a bit weary.  I was hoping they didn't slack on the script and try and compensate with a bunch of hoopla bullshit.  But I wanted to see it nonetheless.


So I watched it.  The original was better.


In a nut shell the mechanic is a hitman hired by an agency who put coded ads in newspapers.  He calls inquiring about the job, gets it, studies the target to a T, and executes the target.  The kills must be done in a way that it looked natural and that there wasn't hit put out on the target. The mechanic(Statham) has a friendship with an agent of the company who hires him for work.  This friend becomes a target he has to execute and he does.  The target has a son, who is an asshole/fuck up, and the mechanic takes him under his wing.  They do jobs together and the son eventually finds out who killed his father.


This is a typical action flick.  It had the chance to be as good as the original but somewhere the film just wasn't gonna make it to that level. 


The script was so so.  The kills in this  movie were above average though.  It had some good kills but that was supplementary for whatever else was lacking.


This is good enough to watch but nothing spectacular.


My rating
3.25/5 stars