THE TOURIST

Generic.

Okay so I watched this movie and I will say that in the beginning, the middle, and close to the end I was really wondering why this movie was made.  I mean the movie is shot in a foreign land, check on the location.  Venice is where it went down at and that place looks absolutely fly.  The location goes only so far for me though.  Once the flyness of the set wears off I am still wondering what this movie was made for.  Yes, entertainment, I know.  Looking at the cast, you got Johnny Muthafucking Depp and Angelina 'I like adopting African babies' Jolie, you would think they would sign up for something dope.  This movie is not dope.

To the average watcher of movies they might see this as a  movie with a good twist.  But I'm not the average movie watcher and I seen the punch coming.  I predicted the ending.  

It took me through a long period of time anticipating shit to pick up, it didn't happen.  The shit was just lackluster.  

Angelina Jolie is some sort of an agent working for some euro agency but she went rogue or something because the agency she works for is on her ass from the get go trying to find someone she fell in love with who stole money from them,  Alexander something.  Dude was suppose to be a dope thief and stole some big money from an old Russian gangsta who isn't really selling gangsta to me.  He too damn old.


Well Angelina meets some dude, J. MF Depp, who is just a tourist on a train.  So she talks to J. MF Depp to get the agents following her to believe that Depp is the man they want.   They never seen this Alexander thief.  Well they find Depp's identity out hella quick and he is a school teacher from Wisconsin, wrong dude.  Well she gets to macking Depp, or should I say assist macking with Depp to help him mack her correctly.  Depp falls for this broad.  She brings him along to throw off the scent of the agents.  Yadadadadayaa.


You find out in the end why this movie was made.   The script coulda been way doper and hollywood needs to come better than this.  Marketing a generic ass movie with two top celebrities isn't going to get me to like this movie.  I wouldn't even say rent it but it can occupy a bring ass night.